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NESCA Notes 2020

When Grandparents Become Parents Again

By | NESCA Notes 2020

By Yvonne M. Asher, Ph.D. 

Pediatric Neuropsychologist

Grandparents can hold a special place for any child. For some, though, grandparents play a central role in their day-to-day lives. When grandparents raise a child, it is often related to parental challenges, tragic circumstances or government intervention. This brings inherent, understandable stressors for grandparents. Additionally, grandparents face the more typical challenges of child-rearing, such as managing educational experiences, ensuring emotional well-being and navigating health care.

When concerns with educational achievement, behavior, emotional or social functioning arise, there are many obstacles with which grandparents must wrestle. Feelings of guilt may arise, which can stem from a variety of sources. Grandparents may question their own parenting practices, worrying about past “mistakes” in raising their children. They may be especially sensitive to shielding their grandchildren from exposure to risky situations that their children may have faced without their knowledge. Grandparents may struggle when grandchildren are given diagnoses such as ADHD, autism or learning disabilities, wondering if their children faced these same challenges without formal diagnosis or intervention. Many grandparents express understandable fears around their grandchildren’s future, particularly their level of independence. While many caregivers have concerns with the independence of the children in their care, grandparents are often acutely aware of the limited time they will have to support, counsel and assist their grandchildren through their young adult years.

In navigating the special education and mental health care systems, grandparents can face many complex situations. Complexity may be increased if grandparents are in a caregiving role due to parents’ substance use or dependence. Depending on the timing and extent of substance use, there can be long-lasting impacts on grandchildren’s educational, cognitive or emotional health. This can substantially increase the difficulties that grandparents encounter, both in terms of accessing necessary services and supports, as well as coping with the stresses of caregiving.

There are also a number of strengths that grandparents can bring to their time as caregivers. They may be more aware of their rights as caregivers within the educational system, seeking out services and interventions when the “first signs” of difficulty arise. They may have a broader perspective on the school system, potentially having raised children who went through the same schools in the past. With the wisdom that comes in later adulthood, grandparents may be more discerning and skeptical about the opinions of professionals. They may ask more pointed questions, with less reserve or fear. Grandparents may also have built stronger support networks and have deeper connections to community organizations. These strengths can serve grandparents well in managing the complex systems that all caregivers face.

Several states have created advisory councils or legislation specifically designed to support grandparents raising grandchildren. In addition, there are many resources available to grandparents who are caring for and raising grandchildren, including:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/grandparents-raising-grandchildren.htm

https://www.grandfamilies.org

http://www.massgrg.com/massgrg_2019/index.html

https://sixtyandme.com/resources-for-grandparents-raising-grandchildren/

 

About Pediatric Neuropsychologist Dr. Yvonne Asher:

Dr. Yvonne M. Asher enjoys working with a wide range of children and teens, including those with autism spectrum disorder, developmental delays, learning disabilities, attention difficulties and executive functioning challenges. She often works with children whose complex profiles are not easily captured by a single label or diagnosis. She particularly enjoys working with young children and helping parents through their “first touch” with mental health care or developmental concerns.

Dr. Asher’s approach to assessment is gentle and supportive, and recognizes the importance of building rapport and trust. When working with young children, Dr. Asher incorporates play and “games” that allow children to complete standardized assessments in a fun and engaging environment.

Dr. Asher has extensive experience working in public, charter and religious schools, both as a classroom teacher and psychologist. She holds a master’s degree in education and continues to love working with educators. As a psychologist working in public schools, she gained invaluable experience with the IEP process from start to finish. She incorporates both her educational and psychological training when formulating recommendations to school teams.

Dr. Asher attended Swarthmore College and the Jewish Theological Seminary. She completed her doctoral degree at Suffolk University, where her dissertation looked at the impact of starting middle school on children’s social and emotional wellbeing. After graduating, she completed an intensive fellowship at the MGH Lurie Center for Autism, where she worked with a wide range of children, adolescents and young adults with autism and related disorders.

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

To book an appointment with Dr. Yvonne Asher, please complete our Intake Form today. For more information about NESCA, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

How to Help Children Grieve

By | NESCA Notes 2020

By: Angela Currie, Ph.D.
Pediatric Neuropsychologist, NESCA
Director of Training and New Hampshire Operations

and

Cynthia Hess, Psy.D.
Pediatric Neuropsychologist Fellow, NESCA

Oftentimes, the loss of a celebrity may be a child or adolescent’s first experience with loss or grief. Many this week who grew up admiring the talents of Kobe Bryant are unfortunately finding themselves in this group. Even when a child has never met the celebrity who perishes, they may feel as though they just lost a good friend.

If you are looking for guidance on how to help manage your child’s grief as it relates to the loss of a “hero,” we have some pointers to share with you. Most of these tips are also appropriate for the loss of a family member or close friend.

  • Talk about your child’s feelings openly, but try to let them approach you first. Normalize their feelings and validate them.
  • They will have questions about what took place, so be prepared to answer them and provide information to a developmentally appropriate degree.
  • Answer questions directly and truthfully, trying not to overly soften the information, as this can be confusing for children (e.g. “gone to heaven” is abstract, “died” is clear and concrete).
  • When it comes to celebrities or public figures who die, set limits around how much information your child is accessing within the media (i.e. keep access to television news limited, monitor internet use, etc.). An important aim is to not only control the influx of information, but also control the visuals that they are exposed to – preventing exposure to video clips and images that may be scary and difficult to let go of. With today’s 24-hour news cycle and on-demand access, there is just too much available to watch, so stay on top of what they see.
  • Be sure to pay tribute to the person who has died. It is important to share memories of that person. Let your child know that it is okay to talk about them.
  • While a death or tragedy is thankfully not a common occurrence, try to maintain the typical schedule that your child is accustomed to. Adhering to a “normal” routine will help them feel a sense of stability while learning to cope with loss.

Resources:

Talking With Children About Loss; Words, Strategies, and Wisdom to help Children Cope with Death Divorce and Other Difficult Times by Maria Trozzi

For loss of pets: All Dogs Go To Heaven by Lu Pierro and The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst

https://www.nypl.org/blog/2017/07/21/childrens-books-about-loss-and-grieving

https://www.scholastic.com/parents/books-and-reading/raise-a-reader-blog/7-touching-books-to-help-kids-understand-death-and-grief.html

https://childmind.org/article/helping-children-deal-grief/

https://childmind.org/guide/helping-children-cope-grief/

 

About the Authors:

Dr. Angela Currie is a pediatric neuropsychologist at NESCA. She conducts neuropsychological and psychological evaluations out of our Londonderry, NH office. She specializes in the evaluation of anxious children and teens, working to tease apart the various factors lending to their stress, such as underlying learning, attentional, or emotional challenges. She particularly enjoys working with the seemingly “unmotivated” child, as well as children who have “flown under the radar” for years due to their desire to succeed.

 

 

 

Dr. Cynthia Hess recently graduated from Rivier University with a Psy.D. in Counseling and School Psychology. Previously, she earned an M.A. from Antioch New England in Applied Psychology. She also worked as an elementary school counselor and school psychologist for 15 years before embarking on her doctorate. During her doctorate, she did her pre-doctoral internship with RIT in Rochester, N.Y. where she worked with youth ages 5-17 who had experienced complex developmental trauma. Dr. Hess’s first post-doctoral fellowship was with The Counseling Center of New England where she provided psychotherapy and family therapy to children ages 5-18, their families and young adults. She also trained part-time with a pediatric neuropsychologist conducting neuropsychological evaluations. Currently, Dr. Hess is a second-year post-doctoral fellow in pediatric neuropsychological assessment, working with NESCA Londonderry’s Dr. Angela Currie and Dr. Jessica Geragosian.

 

 

To book an evaluation with Dr. Currie or one of our many other expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form. Indicate whether you are seeking an “evaluation” or “consultation” and your preferred clinician in the referral line.

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Londonderry, NH, Plainville, MA, and Newton, MA serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call (603) 818-8526.