NESCA is booking neuropsychological evaluations within the next several weeks in our Newton and Foxborough-area locations in Massachusetts. To secure evaluation appointments with our expert clinicians, please complete our Intake Form.

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neurodivergent

6

Allow Them to be Challenged! (Examples of Balancing Support with Challenge): Part 2

By | NESCA Notes 2024

By Jasmine Badamo, MA
Educational Counselor; Executive Function Coach

Last week’s blog discussed the “zone of proximal development” and the importance of providing young people with calculated challenges in order to facilitate their executive function development (https://nesca-newton.com/allow-them-to-be-challenged-building-childrens-executive-functions-part-1/). Because the balance between providing support and allowing challenge is highly individual, I wanted to write a follow-up blog providing some examples of how this balance can be implemented:

EXAMPLE 1: A middle schooler is struggling to turn in their assignments on time, even when they already have them completed.

EXAMPLE 2: An elementary-aged child is struggling to keep their work desk clean, and it’s causing a lot of conflict and stress during homework time.

EXAMPLE 3: A high school student wants to find a summer job so they can earn some money and build their resume.

Remember that every child and family is unique, and there is no one right answer. It may take time to find the right balance for your child, but it is well worth the effort!

——————————————————————

Did you know that NESCA offers parent coaching tailored to helping parents facilitate their child’s executive function growth? While many families take advantage of the opportunity to have their student’s work directly with our executive function coach and utilize parent coaching as a support for generalizing the strategies the students are learning, this has also been an invaluable service on its own for many parents.

 

About the Author

Jasmine Badamo, MA, is an educational counselor and executive function coach who works full-time at NESCA supporting students ranging from elementary school through young adulthood. In addition to direct client work, Ms. Badamo provides consultation and support to parents and families in order to help change dynamics within the household and/or support the special education processes for students struggling with executive dysfunction. She also provides expert consultation to educators, special educators and related professionals.

Ms. Badamo is a New York State Certified ENL and Special Education teacher. She has more than 10 years of teaching experience across three countries and has worked with students and clients ranging in age from 7 to adulthood. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Biological Sciences from Cornell University and her master’s degree in TESOL from CUNY Hunter College. She has also participated in graduate coursework focusing on academic strategies and executive function supports for students with LD, ADHD, and autism as part of the Learning Differences and Neurodiversity (LDN) certification at Landmark College’s Institute for Research and Training. In addition to being a native English speaker, Ms. Badamo is also conversationally fluent in verbal and written Spanish.

Having worked in three different New York City public schools, Ms. Badamo has seen firsthand the importance of executive function skills in facilitating student confidence and success. Her coaching and consultation work focuses on creating individualized supports based on the specific needs and strengths of each client and supporting the development of metacognition (thinking about one’s own thought processes and patterns), executive function skills, and independence. She will guide clients to generate their own goals, identify the barriers to their goals, brainstorm potential strategies, advocate for support when needed, and reflect on the effectiveness of their applied strategies.

Ms. Badamo is a highly relational coach. Building an authentic connection with each client is a top priority and allows her to provide the best support possible. Additionally, as a teacher and coach, Ms. Badamo believes in fostering strong collaborations with anyone who supports her clients including service providers, classroom teachers, parents, administrators, and community providers.

To book executive function coaching with Jasmine Badamo or another EF or Real-life Skills Coach at NESCA, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; the greater Burlington, Vermont region; and Brooklyn, New York (coaching services only) serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

6

Allow Them to be Challenged! (Building Children’s Executive Functions): Part 1

By | NESCA Notes 2024

By Jasmine Badamo, MA
Educational Counselor; Executive Function Coach

Executive function – the ability to engage in goal-directed behaviors, such as planning, organization, focus, and self-regulation – is a set of cognitive skills that all individuals possess and use on a daily basis.

Like any skill, each person’s executive function is at varying stages of proficiency and development. Furthermore, a person’s day-to-day capacity for executive functioning can fluctuate based on a variety of factors, including age, cognitive profile, environment demands, emotional state, physical illness, stress, mental health, etc.

As the role of executive function in learning, working, and general life tasks is becoming more widely acknowledged and understood, it is also becoming more common to make accommodations for young people to support their executive function challenges. It is exciting to see more of this consideration and inclusion; however, I often find myself in conversations with families, educators, and related professionals regarding the difficulty of balancing executive function support and accommodation with allowing space and opportunities for growth and skill development.

How can we resist the temptation to completely alleviate a young person’s struggle, especially when we know that the individual needs opportunities to practice the executive function skills they are attempting to master? It comes down to exposing young people to calculated challenges.

Facing challenges is an important part of learning and developing independence. It is also important to be thoughtful about the level of challenge we present to an individual. In my coaching, I like to think of Lev Vygotsky’s theory of learning in which every person has a “zone of proximal development” that encompasses the skills or tasks that they cannot yet do on their own, but that they can achieve with guidance or assistance (often referred to as “scaffolding”). When a learner receives support attempting a task that is just beyond their individual reach or capacity, it allows them to stretch their skills and current knowledge. With guidance and repeated practice, the learner develops the ability to utilize the skills and knowledge independently; their zone of proximal development shifts, and they can tackle more complex and challenging skills (citation).

Challenge is essential to growth. But finding a person’s zone of proximal development is not an exact science – it’s individual, shifts with time and circumstances, and it can be difficult in the moment to know if you’ve struck the right balance between supporting your child while simultaneously allowing for sufficient challenge.

You may be thinking, “What’s too little challenge? What’s too much? Is my child facing an overwhelming amount of executive function demands, or are these challenges good growing and learning opportunities for them?” Next week’s blog will give a few examples of how parents and caretakers may be able to balance support vs. calculated challenge. And, in the meantime, consider collaborating with an executive function coach! It’s a great way to answer these questions and learn how to independently identify the appropriate level of challenge for your child.

——————————————————————–

Did you know that NESCA offers parent coaching tailored to helping parents facilitate their child’s executive function growth? While many families take advantage of the opportunity to have their student’s work directly with our executive function coach and utilize parent coaching as a support for generalizing the strategies the students are learning, this has also been an invaluable service on its own for many parents.

 

About the Author

Jasmine Badamo, MA, is an educational counselor and executive function coach who works full-time at NESCA supporting students ranging from elementary school through young adulthood. In addition to direct client work, Ms. Badamo provides consultation and support to parents and families in order to help change dynamics within the household and/or support the special education processes for students struggling with executive dysfunction. She also provides expert consultation to educators, special educators and related professionals.

Ms. Badamo is a New York State Certified ENL and Special Education teacher. She has more than 10 years of teaching experience across three countries and has worked with students and clients ranging in age from 7 to adulthood. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Biological Sciences from Cornell University and her master’s degree in TESOL from CUNY Hunter College. She has also participated in graduate coursework focusing on academic strategies and executive function supports for students with LD, ADHD, and autism as part of the Learning Differences and Neurodiversity (LDN) certification at Landmark College’s Institute for Research and Training. In addition to being a native English speaker, Ms. Badamo is also conversationally fluent in verbal and written Spanish.

Having worked in three different New York City public schools, Ms. Badamo has seen firsthand the importance of executive function skills in facilitating student confidence and success. Her coaching and consultation work focuses on creating individualized supports based on the specific needs and strengths of each client and supporting the development of metacognition (thinking about one’s own thought processes and patterns), executive function skills, and independence. She will guide clients to generate their own goals, identify the barriers to their goals, brainstorm potential strategies, advocate for support when needed, and reflect on the effectiveness of their applied strategies.

Ms. Badamo is a highly relational coach. Building an authentic connection with each client is a top priority and allows her to provide the best support possible. Additionally, as a teacher and coach, Ms. Badamo believes in fostering strong collaborations with anyone who supports her clients including service providers, classroom teachers, parents, administrators, and community providers.

To book executive function coaching with Jasmine Badamo or another EF or Real-life Skills Coach at NESCA, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; the greater Burlington, Vermont region; and Brooklyn, New York (coaching services only) serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

11

Is My Child Neurodivergent, and What Does That Mean?

By | NESCA Notes 2024

By: Cynthia Hess, PsyD
Pediatric Neuropsychologist

One of society’s leading sources of information is social media, which can be an excellent source of information and support. Parents may turn to social media when they notice their child struggling, trying to find others with similar concerns or answers about why their child seems “different.” Additionally, many children, adolescents, and young adults who feel different or out of place seek and find people or ideas that resonate with them online. While it may put them at ease, it often leads parents and their children to question if there is a diagnosis that will help them understand their child or themselves. Increasingly, people are asking if it is autism or another neurodivergent condition.

Neurodivergence is a term used to describe individuals whose brains function differently from what is considered typical. Neurodivergence is a broad term describing neurodevelopmental disorders present at birth and lasting throughout one’s life. Identifying if your child is neurodivergent can be the first step in understanding their unique strengths and challenges. There are numerous neurodivergent conditions, such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), dyslexia, and others, each with their own characteristics and support needs.

Recognizing signs of neurodivergence in children can vary depending on the specific condition, but some common indicators include:

  • Difficulty with social interactions and communication
  • Repetitive behaviors or intense interests
  • Sensory sensitivities or aversions
  • Challenges with attention and focus
  • Delayed speech or language development
  • Difficulties with organization and planning
  • Impulsivity or hyperactivity
  • Unusual reactions to sensory stimuli
  • Emotional regulation difficulties
  • Learning and academic challenges

Observing patterns of behavior, communication, and sensory processing in your child can help indicate if they may be neurodivergent. Seeking a professional evaluation from a psychologist or developmental specialist can provide a more accurate diagnosis and guidance on supporting your child effectively. It is essential to remember that neurodivergence is not a label or limitation but a spectrum of diverse traits and abilities that contribute to the richness of human experience. By recognizing and embracing neurodiversity, society can benefit from the unique perspectives, talents, and contributions of individuals with diverse neurological profiles. Proper diagnosis, support, understanding, and accommodation are essential in helping neurodivergent individuals thrive and succeed in their lives.

About the Author

Dr. Cynthia (Cindy) Hess conducts neuropsychological evaluations as a pediatric neuropsychologist at NESCA. Dr. Hess enjoys working with children and young adults with complex emotional and behavioral profiles. She is skilled at evaluating social and emotional challenges as well as a range of learning profiles. Her experience allows her to guide families in understanding the supports and services their child requires to be successful in school.

 

To schedule an appointment with one of NESCA’s expert neuropsychologists, please complete our online intake form. 

 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; and staff in the greater Burlington, Vermont region and Brooklyn, New York, serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

6

A Little Coaching for Caretakers Goes a Long Way When Building Executive Function Skills for Students

By | NESCA Notes 2024

By Jasmine Badamo, MA
Educational Counselor; Executive Function Coach

In my work as an executive function tutor, a priority is to foster collaborations with the other adults in my clients’ lives. Every relationship brings something different to a young person: different perspectives, areas of expertise, support abilities, opportunities for conflict management, etc. But while every person in your child’s life plays a unique role in their growth, family members often serve as the “control tower” for communication between the various environments of a child’s life. That’s why, of all the collaborations I engage in, parent/guardian collaboration can have the most significant impact on my clients’ executive functioning progress.

When I start working with an executive function client, I work to establish a clear line of communication with caregivers at the outset so they are well-informed of our session work. But direct parent/guardian coaching allows for collaboration on a much deeper and consistent level. Similar to executive function tutoring, parent/guardian coaching is regularly scheduled, has established goals, and serves as a space to discover and learn different strategies for supporting executive functioning skill development. Furthermore, because of the individualized nature of coaching, it can address a wide range of family needs, such as assistance with school documentation; brainstorming and creating home supports for a neurodivergent child; receiving reassurance and guidance in difficult-to-navigate or novel parenting situations; and managing your own daily demands so that you have more bandwidth for supporting your child, etc.

Here are some example situations demonstrating when and how parent/guardian coaching can have a big impact:

→ Your child is in elementary school and is still developing their self-awareness and ability to self-reflect. In their weekly executive function tutoring, they cannot always accurately self-report the daily demands they face or struggle with. You’ve set up brief weekly parent/guardian coaching in order to share important background/contextual updates that will help me direct my tutoring focus and strategy suggestions. I offer weekly tips that help you to practice accurate self-reflection with your child. It also allows you to share any new concerns that arise.

→ Your 9th grade child has been working with an executive function tutor for a little over a year now and has learned several executive function management strategies. They’ve reached the point in their development where they need to generalize their knowledge. You’ve decided to start parent/guardian coaching because you are uniquely positioned to support this generalization at home. I touch base with school staff to also support generalization at school.

→ Your high school child is struggling with executive functioning, and you want them to get support, but they are not open to meeting with an executive function tutor. You start parent/guardian coaching in order to learn concrete strategies to support your child with the executive function demands of school and home. The parent coaching is also helping you to reflect on the ways you can facilitate a better communication dynamic with your child.

As you can see in the above examples, even though the coaching sessions are attended by the parent/guardian, the purpose of the work is to supplement the executive function (EF) development of your child. Here are just a few ways in which parent/guardian coaching contributes to your child’s success. Coaching can:

→ help you further create a home environment that is supportive of your child’s EF needs and skill development

→ help you know how to “lend” your prefrontal cortex to your child in a way that reduces overwhelm, but still provides limits so that they have opportunities to develop and practice skills for managing EF tasks with greater independence

→ help you expand your strategies for responding to challenges or conflicts that arise while working on EF goals between tutoring sessions

→ help you know how to prioritize your focus in supporting your child’s goals (there are so many resources, it can be a challenge to know which to start with)

→ help you use strategies that promote a mindset of growth, reflection, and self-compassion (all important for your child’s EF skill development)

→ help normalize the act of receiving help and support. Your commitment to coaching models for your child the importance of getting support for your needs, being open to feedback, and embracing personal change/growth.

The list can go on because the opportunity to work with clients and caretakers in tandem offers exponential benefits for the client. What parent/guardian coaching does on a fundamental level is support families in developing a new filter, perspective, and framework for approaching and supporting the young person’s executive function needs.

 

About the Author

Jasmine Badamo, MA, is an educational counselor and executive function coach who works full-time at NESCA supporting students ranging from elementary school through young adulthood. In addition to direct client work, Ms. Badamo provides consultation and support to parents and families in order to help change dynamics within the household and/or support the special education processes for students struggling with executive dysfunction. She also provides expert consultation to educators, special educators and related professionals.

Ms. Badamo is a New York State Certified ENL and Special Education teacher. She has more than 10 years of teaching experience across three countries and has worked with students and clients ranging in age from 7 to adulthood. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Biological Sciences from Cornell University and her master’s degree in TESOL from CUNY Hunter College. She has also participated in graduate coursework focusing on academic strategies and executive function supports for students with LD, ADHD, and autism as part of the Learning Differences and Neurodiversity (LDN) certification at Landmark College’s Institute for Research and Training. In addition to being a native English speaker, Ms. Badamo is also conversationally fluent in verbal and written Spanish.

Having worked in three different New York City public schools, Ms. Badamo has seen firsthand the importance of executive function skills in facilitating student confidence and success. Her coaching and consultation work focuses on creating individualized supports based on the specific needs and strengths of each client and supporting the development of metacognition (thinking about one’s own thought processes and patterns), executive function skills, and independence. She will guide clients to generate their own goals, identify the barriers to their goals, brainstorm potential strategies, advocate for support when needed, and reflect on the effectiveness of their applied strategies.

Ms. Badamo is a highly relational coach. Building an authentic connection with each client is a top priority and allows her to provide the best support possible. Additionally, as a teacher and coach, Ms. Badamo believes in fostering strong collaborations with anyone who supports her clients including service providers, classroom teachers, parents, administrators, and community providers.

To book executive function coaching with Jasmine Badamo or another EF or Real-life Skills Coach at NESCA, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; the greater Burlington, Vermont region; and Brooklyn, New York (coaching services only) serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

6

Loving Individuals with Executive Function Challenges: Real-world Examples of Flexibility and Adaptability

By | Nesca Notes 2023

By Jasmine Badamo, MA
Educational Counselor; Executive Function Tutor

Last week I discussed how being flexible and adaptable is a great way to support individuals with executive function struggles. Today I’d like to give you a few examples of how that would look in real life!

Scenario #1
You are the parent from the nighttime routine debacle from last week. Instead of bedtime being relaxing, it fills you with anticipatory dread. Bedtime is in 15 minutes, and you are scrambling to get your child ready. After prompting your child for the 27th time to pick a pair of pajamas and put them on – something they have to do literally every night and should come as no surprise to them, you walk into your child’s room to see the contents of their backpack strewn all over the floor as they look for their favorite plushie to pack for school tomorrow. Pajamas are not on, teeth are not brushed, and now there is a room to clean. You feel your frustration boil over as you realize that it will be yet another night of everyone going to bed late and stressed out. You think to yourself, “This shouldn’t be this difficult! My kid should be able to do a simple nighttime routine and get to bed on time!”

→ Examples of Flexibility and Adaptability: You stop constantly prompting (or as your child calls it, “nagging”) and start providing external supports that help them foster more independence. After sitting down together and learning that visual reminders are helpful, you posted a nighttime routine checklist on the wall. In your discussion, you also realized that your little one runs out of steam about 15 minutes in, so you simplified the nighttime routine to the bare minimum. You even started shuffling some of the nighttime tasks to earlier in the day when everyone has more energy. It’s a little unconventional to put on pajamas before dinner, but it’s one less task to do later, and it makes dinner fun.

Scenario #2
You love your partner dearly, but for the life of them, they are incapable of arriving to any family event even remotely on time. The lead-up to walking out the door and into the car is always filled with shouting and frustration, and while you arrive together, you arrive late and grumpy.

→ Examples of Flexibility and Adaptability: You started traveling separately to family events. Yeah, it confuses some of your relatives, you’re using double the gas, and your partner shows up way later than they would if you drove together, BUT you both arrive at the family gathering in great moods and enjoy your time with everyone, which is your actual priority. It’s also helped your relationship because it’s removed a lot of the push-pull dynamic that was created by rushing to get somewhere together on time. You also notice how it has opened the door to more conversations around your spouse’s neurodiversity and ways to support them. But really, the best part of this new flexible arrangement is that you can get there on time before all the tasty food runs out, and when you’re feeling generous, you even save your partner a plate!

Scenario #3
No matter how hard you try, your fridge is a warzone. Vegetables rot before you can cook them; you have multiple bottles of hot sauce because you keep forgetting you already have some; and a pack of mushrooms stares judgingly at you every time you pass over it because you still haven’t bought the other ingredients for the mushroom soup you plan(ned) to make.

→ Examples of Flexibility and Adaptability: You let go of how you thought a fridge needed to look, and organized it in a way that makes sense for your brain and eating habits. Vegetables now go in the fridge door where you’ll have a visual reminder to eat them before they go bad. Condiments are on a lazy Susan so you can quickly check what you have and don’t have. You also started shopping for only 1-2 dishes at a time, and now keep all the ingredients needed for a dish together in bins so they’re ready to go when you cook. Yes, you know pasta doesn’t need to be in the fridge, but you know what, this is your life, and this makes sense for you. And while it’s true that this new organization system is suboptimal in terms of space usage, you’ve noticed that you’re actually using more of what you do have in the fridge, which is your priority.

Want to explore this topic more?
Here are a few social media accounts that are modeling a more flexible and adaptable approach to executive function demands:
@thecenteredlifeco
@strugglecare (along with her Podcast “Struggle Care”)
@divergentcoachkelly
@adriabarich

And, if you would like to explore additional solutions to executive function challenges, NESCA’s team of expert executive function coaches is available to work with you and/or your family. We have coaches who can work in-person or remotely. Let us know how we can support you.

 

About the Author

Jasmine Badamo, MA, is an educational counselor and executive function coach who works full-time at NESCA supporting students ranging from elementary school through young adulthood. In addition to direct client work, Ms. Badamo provides consultation and support to parents and families in order to help change dynamics within the household and/or support the special education processes for students struggling with executive dysfunction. She also provides expert consultation to educators, special educators and related professionals.

Ms. Badamo is a New York State Certified ENL and Special Education teacher. She has more than 10 years of teaching experience across three countries and has worked with students and clients ranging in age from 7 to adulthood. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Biological Sciences from Cornell University and her master’s degree in TESOL from CUNY Hunter College. She has also participated in graduate coursework focusing on academic strategies and executive function supports for students with LD, ADHD, and autism as part of the Learning Differences and Neurodiversity (LDN) certification at Landmark College’s Institute for Research and Training. In addition to being a native English speaker, Ms. Badamo is also conversationally fluent in verbal and written Spanish.

Having worked in three different New York City public schools, Ms. Badamo has seen firsthand the importance of executive function skills in facilitating student confidence and success. Her coaching and consultation work focuses on creating individualized supports based on the specific needs and strengths of each client and supporting the development of metacognition (thinking about one’s own thought processes and patterns), executive function skills, and independence. She will guide clients to generate their own goals, identify the barriers to their goals, brainstorm potential strategies, advocate for support when needed, and reflect on the effectiveness of their applied strategies.

Ms. Badamo is a highly relational coach. Building an authentic connection with each client is a top priority and allows her to provide the best support possible. Additionally, as a teacher and coach, Ms. Badamo believes in fostering strong collaborations with anyone who supports her clients including service providers, classroom teachers, parents, administrators, and community providers.

To book executive function coaching with Jasmine Badamo or another EF or Real-life Skills Coach at NESCA, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; and the greater Burlington, Vermont region, serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

6

Reduce Your Frustrations: How Being Flexible and Adaptable Helps You and Your Loved One with Executive Function Challenges

By | Nesca Notes 2023

By Jasmine Badamo, MA
Educational Counselor; Executive Function Tutor

The Dreaded Nighttime Routine
Hey parents, tell me if this rings a bell. Instead of bedtime being relaxing, it fills you with anticipatory dread. Bedtime is in 15 minutes, and you are scrambling to get your child ready. After prompting your child for the 27th time to pick a pair of pajamas and put them on – something they have to do literally every night and should come as no surprise to them – you walk into your child’s room to see the contents of their toy bin strewn all over the floor as they look for their favorite plushie to pack for school tomorrow. Pajamas are not on, teeth are not brushed, and now there is a room to clean. You feel your frustration boil over as you realize that it will be yet another night of everyone going to bed late and stressed out. You think to yourself, “This shouldn’t be this difficult! My kid should be able to do a simple nighttime routine and get to bed on time!”

In my experience, so many of us have found ourselves in a similar situation with a child, a partner, or even ourselves. While you might like for me to launch into tips and tricks for achieving a seamless nighttime routine for your family (does that exist?!), instead I’d like to explore the idea of challenging our “shoulds,” and discuss how being more flexible with ourselves and others can help reduce our frustrations.

Yep, I’m Talking about Letting Go!…Again!
If you or a loved one struggle with executive function demands, it’s important to get more comfortable letting go of how things “should” be, and start being flexible around how things could be. I really love Dr. Russell Barkley’s shepherd analogy for parenting a child with ADHD, as it can be applied to a wide range of relationships and situations involving individuals with executive functioning challenges. He tells us that parents are not engineers, and they do not get to design their children to be the way they’d like them to be. Instead, he pushes parents to accept that they are “a shepherd to a unique individual,” and while “no shepherd is gonna turn a sheep into a dog,” parents do have the power to “pick the pastures in which the sheep will graze and develop and grow.”

Whether you are shepherding a child, a loved one, or yourself, this approach helps us let go of who a person “should” be, how the routines of daily life “should” go, or what tasks “should” be easy. Trying to turn a sheep into a dog (aka trying to shove a round peg into a square hole) only leads to frustration, and worse yet, often sets neurodivergent people – and those who love them – up to fail. Instead, start focusing on how daily life could be, and channel your efforts into shaping your environment and tasks accordingly.

Flexibility and Adaptability are the Tools for Letting Go
The best way to start shaping the environment to better suit the needs of an individual with executive function struggles is to be flexible and adaptive. Below is a list of strategies for being more flexible and adaptive:

Adaptivity Killers Adaptivity Enhancers
-All-or-nothing thinking

-100% optimization and productivity

-Shaming in order to motivate action

-Rejection or deprivation of needs

 -Growth mindset (progress over perfection)

-Selective effort and investment

-Positive self-talk and celebrating small successes

-Self-reflection and compassion

Notice how the Adaptivity Enhancers above align with practices that will dissipate frustrations or at least help you weather them with more ease. Take a look at how each would play out in real life:

  • “I may not be the most athletic human in the world, but I’m really interested in doing more physical movement. I bet if I practiced, I could increase my athletic ability and start to enjoy physical activity more.” (growth mindset).
  • “I know I can’t go from 0 to 100, and that I only have so much expendable energy in the day. I’m going to focus my efforts on lifting weights: starting with small weights and lifting just twice a week.” (selective effort & investment).
  • “Today I lifted for less than my target time, but I’m really proud of myself for coming all the way to the gym after I had such a crummy day at work. I’m also proud that I lifted weights for as long as I did.” (positive self-talk; celebrating small successes).
  • “I notice that I’m usually cranky on Wednesdays after work, and it’s a drag to get myself to the gym – which is totally understandable. Maybe I can better support myself by going on Tuesdays when I tend to have more energy.” (self-reflection and compassion).

Stay tuned for next week’s blog for more real-life examples of how being flexible and adaptable can help you navigate everyday executive function demands.

 

About the Author

Jasmine Badamo, MA, is an educational counselor and executive function coach who works full-time at NESCA supporting students ranging from elementary school through young adulthood. In addition to direct client work, Ms. Badamo provides consultation and support to parents and families in order to help change dynamics within the household and/or support the special education processes for students struggling with executive dysfunction. She also provides expert consultation to educators, special educators and related professionals.

Ms. Badamo is a New York State Certified ENL and Special Education teacher. She has more than 10 years of teaching experience across three countries and has worked with students and clients ranging in age from 7 to adulthood. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Biological Sciences from Cornell University and her master’s degree in TESOL from CUNY Hunter College. She has also participated in graduate coursework focusing on academic strategies and executive function supports for students with LD, ADHD, and autism as part of the Learning Differences and Neurodiversity (LDN) certification at Landmark College’s Institute for Research and Training. In addition to being a native English speaker, Ms. Badamo is also conversationally fluent in verbal and written Spanish.

Having worked in three different New York City public schools, Ms. Badamo has seen firsthand the importance of executive function skills in facilitating student confidence and success. Her coaching and consultation work focuses on creating individualized supports based on the specific needs and strengths of each client and supporting the development of metacognition (thinking about one’s own thought processes and patterns), executive function skills, and independence. She will guide clients to generate their own goals, identify the barriers to their goals, brainstorm potential strategies, advocate for support when needed, and reflect on the effectiveness of their applied strategies.

Ms. Badamo is a highly relational coach. Building an authentic connection with each client is a top priority and allows her to provide the best support possible. Additionally, as a teacher and coach, Ms. Badamo believes in fostering strong collaborations with anyone who supports her clients including service providers, classroom teachers, parents, administrators, and community providers.

To book executive function coaching with Jasmine Badamo or another EF or Real-life Skills Coach at NESCA, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; and the greater Burlington, Vermont region, serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

5

Why Knowing Yourself and Saying No Matters to Neurodivergent Individuals

By | Nesca Notes 2023

By Jasmine Badamo, MA
Educational Counselor; Executive Function Tutor

The ability to say “no” and honor your limits is a beautifully powerful skill that we can all benefit from. In a productivity-focused culture where today’s 40-hour work week is roughly equivalent to a 160-hour work week in 1950’s time (read more in Devon Price’s Laziness Does Not Exist), it’s easy to ignore our limits and put pressure on ourselves to perform at an otherworldly capacity.

While life requires all of us to push ourselves at times, it is impossible to work at 100% capacity 100% of the time. And by saying no, or deciding where to strategically place your energy, you leave yourself with the bandwidth and energy needed to be more effective and consistent in the activities that are priorities to you.

This is definitely not the first time you’ve heard these ideas. However, today I’d like to focus on why saying no and honoring your limits can be especially important for neurodivergent individuals.

Neurodiversity is the natural brain diversity that exists within the human population, similar to other forms of human diversity. The terms “neurodivergent,” “neurominority,” or “neurovariant” typically refer to individuals with a brain makeup that falls outside of the statistical majority of human neurotypes. Being a neurominority is not a problem, nor is it something to overcome. However, being a minority often means having to function within a world that is generally not designed by or for you.

Because of this, neurodivergent individuals are often implicitly or explicitly taught to modify their thoughts and actions to better fit their environment. Instead of being able to honor their individual needs and boundaries, they are frequently asked to push themselves beyond their limits. While every person—neurodivergent or not—must operate outside their comfort zone at times, for neurodivergent individuals it can become a default way of life. This is exhausting and can result in burnout.

During intake sessions with new clients, I make it a point to clarify that I’m not here to “cure” ADHD, autism, or a learning disability. I’m here to help reduce, and also cope with, the disconnect between the client, their environment, and the activities they are being asked to regularly manage. Together we find ways to make the environment better fit the individual and their needs, and then (and only then) we will implement strategies for navigating the remaining barriers to reaching their goals.

And in order to make the environment better fit the individual, each client needs to figure out what works for them and, most importantly, what does NOT work for them. For some neurodivergent folk, it can be truly ground-breaking to ask themselves, “What about my environment or current activities is not working for me? What can I start to say ‘no’ to?” It’s an important step in learning more about yourself and how your brain works, and what is sustainable for you (not someone else).

This can be hard, especially if your productivity or ability to “keep up” with others has become a pattern—or even a part of your identity. Learning to say no and to let go of not only what others regularly ask of you, but also what you have become accustomed to asking of yourself, takes time, patience, and practice.

Remember, you wouldn’t begrudge a cactus for wilting if it were asked to constantly absorb more water than its capacity, or if it didn’t get the amount of sun it required. And once you provide that cactus with the specific and appropriate external conditions, it will be able to flourish and show the world all the unique beauty it has to offer.

All of this is much easier said than done, but one of the most rewarding aspects of my job is being able to join clients as they learn how to work with their brains, accept their specific way of being in the world, and start to say no to the rest.

To read more on this topic:
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Laziness-Does-Not-Exist/Devon-Price/9781797120591

If your child, teen, or young adult needs support in this realm, complete our online Intake Form to learn more about NESCA’s Executive Function and Real-life Skills Coaching.

 

About the Author

Jasmine Badamo, MA, is an educational counselor and executive function coach who works full-time at NESCA supporting students ranging from elementary school through young adulthood. In addition to direct client work, Ms. Badamo provides consultation and support to parents and families in order to help change dynamics within the household and/or support the special education processes for students struggling with executive dysfunction. She also provides expert consultation to educators, special educators and related professionals.

Ms. Badamo is a New York State Certified ENL and Special Education teacher. She has more than 10 years of teaching experience across three countries and has worked with students and clients ranging in age from 7 to adulthood. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Biological Sciences from Cornell University and her master’s degree in TESOL from CUNY Hunter College. She has also participated in graduate coursework focusing on academic strategies and executive function supports for students with LD, ADHD, and autism as part of the Learning Differences and Neurodiversity (LDN) certification at Landmark College’s Institute for Research and Training. In addition to being a native English speaker, Ms. Badamo is also conversationally fluent in verbal and written Spanish.

Having worked in three different New York City public schools, Ms. Badamo has seen firsthand the importance of executive function skills in facilitating student confidence and success. Her coaching and consultation work focuses on creating individualized supports based on the specific needs and strengths of each client and supporting the development of metacognition (thinking about one’s own thought processes and patterns), executive function skills, and independence. She will guide clients to generate their own goals, identify the barriers to their goals, brainstorm potential strategies, advocate for support when needed, and reflect on the effectiveness of their applied strategies.

Ms. Badamo is a highly relational coach. Building an authentic connection with each client is a top priority and allows her to provide the best support possible. Additionally, as a teacher and coach, Ms. Badamo believes in fostering strong collaborations with anyone who supports her clients including service providers, classroom teachers, parents, administrators, and community providers.

 

To book executive function coaching with Jasmine Badamo or another EF or Real-life Skills Coach at NESCA, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville, Massachusetts, Londonderry, New Hampshire, and Burlington, Vermont, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.