Tag

personal and social coaching

New Year’s Resolution to Lasting Lifestyle Changes

By | NESCA Notes 2019

By Billy Demiri, CPT
Certified Personal Trainer

The New Year can bring with it so many possibilities, and beginning a new decade is even more exciting. This is the time of year so many of us envision great goals and changes that we want to make in the new year. A 2016 study published in scientific journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, investigated New Year’s resolutions and found that, “55% of resolutions were health related, such as exercising more, or eating healthier.” I know from personal experience and working with so many people, helping them achieve their fitness and lifestyle goals, just how hard it can be to make lasting changes. So how do we stay on track with all of our New Year’s resolutions when, “about 80% of people fail to stick to their New Year’s resolutions for longer than six weeks”? Here are some of the best strategies I use when setting goals and staying consistent with them.

First, when it comes to New Year’s resolutions and goal setting, it is important to make sure they are doable and meaningful if we want to give ourselves the best shot at success. It is essential to make sure that whatever goal we choose really matters to us, and we are making it for the right reasons. I like to use the acronym SMART when setting goals for myself and my clients. That means goals should be S-Specific, M-Measurable, A-Achievable, R-Relevant and T-Time-bound. For example, if your goal is to lose weight, you should be specific about how much weight you want to lose. Also, make sure it is realistic and set a time frame for yourself; such as losing 1-2 pounds a week vs. 5 pounds per week. Most important of all, it has to be the right goal for you! It is really easy to lose sight of our goal if we are making changes based on what someone else or society is telling us to change. So how do we find a goal that will be right for us?

My favorite technique for finding goals that matter to me and my clients is asking the 5- Whys—or the Downward Arrow Technique—which was coined by psychiatrist Dr. David Burns. It works for any goal or statement by asking why five times to really explore why that goal is important. For example, let’s stick with the goal of losing weight and explore it further:

  1. Why do you want to lose weight?
  • Because I want to lose fat and build some muscle.
  1. Why does that matter?
  • So I could walk around with my shirt off in the summer.
  1. Why do you want to be able to walk around with your shirt off?
  • Because I will look good and feel good about myself.
  1. Why do you want to feel good about yourself?
  • Because when I feel good about myself, I am more confident and assertive.
  1. Why do you want to be more confident and assertive?
  • Because I will be in control and will have a better chance at getting what I want out of life.

By using the 5-Whys technique, we can gain critical insight to our goals. For this person, weight loss was really a matter of taking charge of his life. He’s not really motivated by the number on the scale or just looking good with his shirt off. By having that insight, he is far more likely to keep working towards his goal—even if the scale hasn’t moved as fast as he would have liked.

Now that we have a way of choosing the right goals for ourselves, how do we stay consistent and make sure we reach our objectives? The two most important steps to achieving any goal are making time and taking action! Making time declares that you matter, and it is a commitment to your values, priorities and goals. If you don’t make time, time will be taken from you. Practicing making time will also help you practice valuable life skills, such as identifying what is important to you and looking ahead, planning and preparing for anything life throws at you. One way to start this process is by making a time diary. For one day, about every 30 minutes, record how you are spending your time. This will help you assess how you are spending your time and figure out what activities are helping you, adding value, what is non-negotiable, and what is taking your time but not helping you. Now you can figure out what activities you can do less of so you can do more to accomplish your goals.

Once you find the time, now you can take action! Often, we come up with great, elaborate plans and idea, but  then get stuck in the thought process. The world’s best workout plan, diet plan or life plan is no good unless we can do something about it. The best way to get unstuck in this process is by taking a five-minute action. Only action creates change! Taking action almost always comes before motivation, and it is usually only after we’ve done something that we feel motivated. By taking small actions, we can gain momentum and bust out of procrastination. Usually, all we have to do is drive through the first few minutes of resistance and then five minutes turns into 30 and then into 60 minutes. By being consistent and learning to use this five-minute action, we will not only achieve our goals, but also learn these valuable life skills and truths along with it. Action is empowering, satisfying and serves as evidence that you’re getting things done even if it’s just for five minutes.

To accomplish any goal, we need to build certain skills and practices, then put them into action. Each goal requires different skills and practices to apply, but the process is the same for all of them. Let’s stick with the goal of losing weight by working out. To do so, we must develop and build up the skill of time management. Then we can practice making time to go to the gym or for a jog. Finally, we can take action and go to the gym or do anything that will help us reach our goal. The more we focus on this process, rather than the outcome, the better the results we will see. We will also build valuable life skills that can be used for more than just fitness goals.

So, now that you have a way to find a meaningful goal and an action plan to go with it, it is time to take charge of your path. Also, it’s really important to remember that when working toward a goal or resolution, that you only compare yourself to where you were yesterday, not to where someone else is in the present moment. Adopt a growth mindset and know that there is no such thing as failure…only feedback. There may be setbacks, and that is normal, but you can learn from it and take a five-minute action. Most importantly, have fun with the process, try new things and as Jocko Willink would say, “Get After It!”

References:

https://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/ayelet.fishbach/research/Woolley&FishbachPSPB.pdf
About the Author:

Certified Personal Trainer Billy Demiri offers Personal and Social Coaching (PSC) at NESCA. Billy has several fitness certifications including: NSCA-CPT (National Strength Condition Association- Certified Personal Trainer) Certified and Autism Fit Certified.

To book sessions with Billy Demiri, complete NESCA’s online intake form and note that you are interested in Personal & Social Coaching.

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

Exercise Before Medication: How consistent workouts can change your life

By | NESCA Notes 2019

By Billy Demiri, CPT
Certified Personal Trainer

Recently I came across an article that highlights what I have believed to be true since I first started exercising regularly myself…a healthy body will foster a healthy mind. The study shows that “lifting weights helps lift depression; cardiovascular activities reduce the effects of anxiety; and any type of movement improves mental health.” Throughout the study, patients were led in a structured exercise program for 60 minutes four times a week. An astounding 95 percent reported feeling better, and 91.8 percent were very pleased with their bodies during each session. With those kinds of results, exercise should be at the forefront of treating mental health issues before psychiatric drugs.

When I started working as a personal trainer and coach, I saw the positive effects that consistent exercise had on all of my clients. Here at NESCA, I have the privilege of working with some amazing kids and young adults—all dealing with different disabilities/mental illness from Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Anxiety, Depression, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Muscular Dystrophy, and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). My goal has always been to make exercise fun and challenging, while also trying to identify goals that drive each individual to want to make exercise a regular part of their lifestyle.

Using a variety of equipment, we work on agility, conditioning, strength, coordination and overall better movement mechanics. After six years of being a personal trainer, and working at NESCA the past year, I couldn’t agree more with the findings of the article. I continue to see firsthand that consistent exercise can unlock everyone’s full potential and, in turn, create a lot of joy and self-worth.

Over the past year, it has been spectacular to see each person progress from session to session—not just physically but mentally. One of my clients was struggling with staying on task and had a hard time completing one exercise at a time before he got frustrated and needed a break. Each session we kept on progressing, and one exercise turned into two, then three, until we built up to doing four-move circuits. Yes, he built up strength and endurance over time, but more Importantly, he gained confidence in himself. He learned that what he originally thought was daunting was actually easy and very doable. Then  he went one step further and wanted to make it even harder. It was amazing seeing his mood change from not wanting to do any exercise to smiling and celebrating after beating his previous time in a four-move circuit. By staying consistent with exercise and seeing himself improve each week, I could see noticeable changes in his self-esteem, on-task behavior and overall mood during workouts—not to mention that he also developed better movement patterns and gained strength, endurance and overall better health.

Based on my experiences, prescribing exercise before medication is a worthwhile approach to continue to look at. Each person needs to be looked at individually, and more research needs to be done to ensure the safety of the patient and others without medication, however it’s clear through research and my own experiences that exercise has positive impact on our overall well-being. It will take some time to change the norm of prescribing patterns, but we are heading in the right direction.

 

Related Links for Additional Reading:

https://bigthink.com/surprising-science/exercise-mental-health?fbclid=IwAR3bUtp7SQmpI4w6kITG0RVbVrS_XfE9K1eOIoa018iUpTds9WJrxAganL4

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2164956119848657

https://nesca-newton.com/billydemiri/

 

About the Author:

Certified Personal Trainer Billy Demiri offers Personal and Social Coaching (PSC) at NESCA. Billy has several fitness certifications including: NSCA-CPT (National Strength Condition Association- Certified Personal Trainer) Certified and Autism Fit Certified.

 

To book sessions with Billy Demiri, complete NESCA’s online intake form and note that you are interested in Personal & Social Coaching.

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

Just What the Doctor Ordered: A Director’s Update on Personal and Social Coaching (PSC)

By | NESCA Notes 2019

By: Ann Helmus, Ph.D.
NESCA Founder/Director

So many wonderful things have happened at NESCA in the past year including our recruitment of many talented interns, post-doctoral fellows, and staff members, the opening of an office in the Foxborough/Plainville Area, and the promotion of several staff. As Founder and Director, I continue to be both proud and humbled by the incredibly talented staff I go to work with each day and the community of families and professionals who allow us the privilege of being part of their lives.

As the New Year often brings about health resolutions, including the desire to increase one’s physical and mental fitness, I am taking this opportunity to spotlight one of our most exciting new staff and services at NESCA: Certified Personal Trainer and Autism Fit Instructor Billy Demiri who leads our Personal and Social Coaching (PSC) Program.

When I arrived to check on how things were going with his first training session,  I heard Liam (not his real name) say, “I make muscular dystrophy look easy!”  This proclamation from a 10 year old boy who had, just hours before, during his evaluation, protested loudly that he would “never work with a coach, no matter what!”    Following his diagnosis of muscular dystrophy, a progressive, degenerative disorder, Liam had become clinically depressed.  Over the past few years, he was often irritable, oppositional, volatile, and completely sedentary.  While a specialized school placement, psychopharmacological intervention and therapy had all been helpful, Liam was still struggling.  His mother and I both viewed physical activity as being an important intervention for him, for medical and psychological reasons.

They were scheduled to have their intake session with Billy Demiri, who heads NESCA’s PSC program, after lunch on the day of Liam’s testing.    Clearly, getting Liam to “sign on” was going to be a challenge.    So, I hatched a plan that I explained to Billy and to Liam’s mother.  Liam’s mother was to tell him that he didn’t have to work with the coach but that she herself wanted to talk with him.  I suggested that Billy focus only on talking with Liam’s mother and not give any attention to Liam.  While Billy and Liam’s mother chatted, Liam was reading a book but regularly glancing over at them, clearly interested.  Eventually, he couldn’t resist joining the conversation.  Billy invited Liam’s mother to look at the exercise room and Liam indicated that he wanted to go too.  Liam succumbed to Billy’s gentle encouragement and was soon navigating an obstacle course and doing hurdle steps…with a huge smile on his face, a smile that I had not seen in the course of our evaluation.  His mother’s smile was even wider.

Liam came back eagerly the following week for his training session.  When he and Billy took a break, Liam told Billy, “I like this!  I can use the stuff that we’re doing, like when I’m feeling mad or upset, to make me feel better.”  He then shared with Billy how hard it’s been for him to know that he has muscular dystrophy and to be depressed.

Billy is not a psychotherapist but he is warm and an empathic listener, a young man who children and adolescents like, respect and trust.  He has done a remarkable job forging a strong connection with each of his clients and skillfully uses that relationship as the basis for getting them to take risks, move out of their comfort zone, and persist in the face of challenge, which are all ingredients in developing “grit.”  Billy’s clients make impressive progress not only physically but also emotionally.  Many of Billy’s clients struggle with self-esteem and the concrete, measurable improvements that they see on a regular basis in their physical capabilities is a huge self-esteem booster.    In addition, through the Physical and Social Coaching program, his clients reduce their level of anxiety, increase coping skills and learn about setting and achieving goals.

NESCA takes a highly integrative approach to the delivery of therapeutic services.  In the case of PSC, Billy coordinates care with the neuropsychologists who have evaluated his clients or the psychotherapists who are treating them so that he understands the underlying social-emotional concerns to be addressed in his sessions.  After an initial assessment of movement patterns, he develops an individualized physical training program that will result in improved physical well-being and serve as a vehicle for social-emotional growth for the client. As NESCA’s Founder and Director (and also a client of Billy’s!), I am tremendously proud to be able to offer this unique and ground-breaking service to our clients.

 

About the Author: 

NESCA Founder/Director Ann Helmus, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical neuropsychologist who has been practicing for almost 20 years. In 1996, she jointly founded the  Children’s Evaluation Center (CEC) in Newton, Massachusetts, serving as co-director there for almost ten years. During that time, CEC emerged as a leading regional center for the diagnosis and remediation of both learning disabilities and Autism Spectrum Disorders.

In September of 2007, Dr. Helmus established NESCA (Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents), a client and family-centered group of seasoned neuropsychologists and allied staff, many of whom she trained, striving to create and refine innovative clinical protocols and dedicated to setting new standards of care in the field.

Dr. Helmus specializes in the evaluation of children with learning disabilities, attention and executive function deficits and primary neurological disorders. In addition to assessing children, she also provides consultation and training to both public and private school systems. She frequently makes presentations to groups of parents, particularly on the topics of non-verbal learning disability and executive functioning.

 

Want to learn more about PSC? PSC will initially available for clients who are part of the NESCA family and have already participated in testing, consultation, or therapy at one of our Massachusetts or New Hampshire offices. To learn more about services, please email bdemiri@nesca-newton.com. Or, to book an intake with Billy, please complete NESCA’s Intake Form at https://nesca-newton.com/intake-form/ and select “Personal and Social Coaching (PSC)” as your reason for referral.

 

To book an evaluation with Dr. Helmus, NESCA Founder and Director, or one of our many other expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form.

 

 

 

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville/Foxbourough, Massachusetts as well as Londonderry, New Hampshire. NESCA serves clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.