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extracurricular activities Archives - NESCA

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A collage of various extracurricular activities and quote from a NESCA clinician

How to Choose Kids’ Activities Without Overloading Your Family

By | NESCA Notes 2026

A collage of various extracurricular activities and quote from a NESCA clinicianBy Luisa Hernandez Medellin, Psy.D., PMH-C
Pediatric Neuropsychologist, NESCA

A practical guide for finding the right balance between enrichment, rest, and family life

Back-to-school season often comes with a long list of sign-ups: soccer, dance, music, tutoring, art, clubs, and more. As parents, it is easy to feel like we should say yes to everything so our kids do not miss out.

Extracurricular activities can be wonderful. They help children make friends, build confidence, learn new skills, and discover what they enjoy. But when the calendar gets too full, those same activities can start to feel stressful for kids and exhausting for the whole family.

Start With One Simple Question: Why Are We Doing This?

Before signing up, pause and ask yourself: Is my child truly interested? Are we choosing this because everyone else seems to be doing it? Will this activity fit our family’s schedule, budget, and energy level?

There is no perfect answer. Some children need to try a few things before they find what they love. Others may be happier with one activity and plenty of time to play, rest, and just be kids.

Why Activities Can Be Good for Kids

When the fit is right, activities can support a child in many ways. Sports can teach teamwork and patience. Music, art, and dance can give children a way to express themselves. Clubs and volunteer opportunities can help older kids feel connected and responsible.

Activities can also help children build confidence. A child who struggles in one area of life may feel proud and capable when they learn a song, finish a swim lesson, score a goal, or make something with their hands.

But Downtime Matters, Too

Kids need space in their day that is not scheduled, coached, graded, or rushed. Free play helps younger children solve problems, use their imagination, and learn how to manage boredom. Older kids also need quiet time to think, relax, and recover from school demands.

If your child goes from school to homework to practice to bed most days, it may be too much. A busy schedule is not automatically a better schedule.

Signs Your Child May Need a Break

It is normal for kids to have hard days or feel nervous when trying something new. But if the stress keeps showing up, it may be time to pause and reassess, especially if the following behaviors or signs become frequent:

  • Crying, meltdowns, or big resistance before every practice or class
  • Stomachaches, headaches, or complaints about going
  • Trouble sleeping because of pressure or a packed schedule
  • Falling behind on schoolwork
  • Loss of joy in an activity they used to like
  • Constant exhaustion for your child – or for you

Stopping does not always mean quitting forever. Sometimes a child just needs a season off, a shorter class, a different coach, or an activity that better matches their personality.

Choose Activities That Fit Your Child’s Age

Young children usually do best with playful activities that focus on movement, fun, and simple skills, like tumbling, swimming, music, or art. They may not be ready for competition, strict rules, or teamwork in the way adults sometimes expect.

School-age children may enjoy trying team sports, clubs, or lessons, but they still need support with time management and those emotional ups and downs. Older children and tweens may be ready for more focused activities, but fun and balance should still come first over competition.

Think Beyond the Usual Options

Extracurriculars do not have to mean competitive sports or five-days-a-week commitments. A nature club, library program, art workshop, scouting, coding class, animal shelter volunteer opportunity, or adaptive recreation/therapeutic movement program may be a better fit.

For children with developmental, behavioral, or health needs, the right activity can be especially meaningful. Look for programs that are welcoming, flexible, and willing to make supports available when needed. Your child’s pediatrician or therapist may also be able to suggest options that match their developmental level.

A Family-friendly Rule of Thumb

Try starting with one activity at a time, especially during busy school seasons. After a few weeks, ask: Is my child enjoying this? Are we still eating dinner together sometimes? Is there time for homework, sleep, and unstructured play? Are we calmer…or more stressed?

If the activity is helping your child grow and still leaves room for family life, great. If not, it is okay to make a change. Parenting is not about creating THE perfect schedule. It is about noticing what your child and your family need right now.

The Bottom Line

Activities can enrich childhood, but they should not take over childhood. The goal is not to do everything. The goal is to help your child feel supported, confident, curious, and connected – while still protecting time for rest, play, and family.

 

Headshot of NESCA Pediatric Neuropsychologist Dr. Luisa Hernandez MedellinAbout the Author

As a bilingual pediatric neuropsychologist, Dr. Hernandez Medellin conducts comprehensive and culturally sensitive neurodevelopmental and neuropsychological assessments, comprehensive diagnostic evaluations, and effective care plans, providing appropriate recommendations for the client’s school, home, and the community. She specializes in the identification and assessment of neurodevelopmental disorders such as Autism Spectrum Disorders, ADHD, developmental and learning disorders, and their co-occurrence with anxiety and mood disorders. She also works with children and young adults with acquired brain injuries, epilepsy, brain tumors, strokes, general medical conditions, and genetic disorders affecting the nervous system. She is a native Spanish-speaker, passionate about serving the eclectic and vibrant South Florida community, as well as international patients looking for high-quality and compassionate care.

To book evaluation services at NESCA in Coral Gables, Florida, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

To book a neuropsychological evaluation or other services at NESCA’s New England offices, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology and related services practice with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; the greater Burlington, Vermont region; and Miami/Coral Gables, Florida, serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

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image of kids exploring in nature, with a quote from Dr. Yvonne Asher

In Praise of Under-Scheduling

By | NESCA Notes 2026

image of kids exploring in nature, with a quote from Dr. Yvonne AsherBy: Yvonne Asher, Ph.D.
NESCA Pediatric Neuropsychologist

This is the time of year where things can go off the rails. Standardized testing, planning for summer, planning for next year, winter sports wrapping up, spring sports starting, recitals, end of year performances, science fairs, prom, graduation. And somewhere on social media are the perfect families with the impeccable photo collages of their children’s activities, everyone posed in matching outfits, effortlessly adorable.

Somewhere far more real are the rest of us, begging one child to put on anything other than sweatpants for their piano recital while comforting another because they KNOW they will “never have friends again” once they start middle school, all while someone eats too many cookies at the lacrosse banquet and pukes all over the car.

Extracurricular activities can be wonderful – they can teach valuable motor and self-regulation skills, build creativity and independence, help children gain self-confidence, build friendships and social competence, and support emotional development. As neuropsychologists, we recommend a multitude of non-school-based activities – sports, martial arts, tutoring, outpatient therapies, therapeutic horseback riding, social skills groups, and more.

And.

They can be a lot. Draining, expensive, exhausting, and unpleasant. For some kids, some families, and some situations, extracurricular activities are the lynchpin. Maybe your kid lives to play soccer. Or participate in competitive gymnastics. Or play violin. If it works for your kid and your family, that is amazing. However, for many families, there is downward pressure into toddlerhood to “expose” children to dozens of structured activities. This can cause stress and anxiety for kids, parents, and siblings, and can eat away at the small amounts of calm family time remaining in between work and school.

What is true is that children need exposure to new things in order to learn and build skills. But, as adults, we forget that so much of simply living is novel to children. Going to a new grocery store? Let’s figure out how to get there using a map and our visual-spatial skills. Beautiful spring day? Take a walk in a new neighborhood. Better yet? Take a hike! What plants do you see? Bugs? Animals? Habitats? Science abounds outside. Have a weekend day with nothing to do? Make a new recipe! Read the recipe, write a shopping list, use math to double it or halve it.

Extracurricular activities themselves are, of course, not the true problem. As often happens in this digital age of parenting, the problem is pressure from others. Feeling like our kids are falling behind the curve, late to the game. And this is dramatically exacerbated for kids with disabilities or challenges, when parents know that they are, in some areas, behind their peers already. It can feel embarrassing to have the one kid who won’t stand up for the choir concert or cries when it is their turn at bat in t-ball. So why must we push them into it?

Of course, sometimes there is a very good “why.” Maybe they love it most of the time and are anxious at recitals. Maybe it’s deeply important to your family and a long tradition for kids to learn this particular skill. Maybe they really need outpatient speech therapy. Many “whys” make it worthwhile to push through an activity. But, sometimes, the “why” is simply “everyone else seems to be doing it” or “they have to do something.”

In these cases, a step back may be worthwhile. At least for now. Enjoy some Saturday mornings spent in pajamas making six different kinds of pancakes because you have nowhere else to be. Play a board game after a lengthy family dinner because everyone got home early. Let your kid pick up every rock they see on the way home from school – maybe today is a good day to paint some for your garden.

 

About the Author

Dr. Yvonne M. Asher enjoys working with a wide range of children and teens, including those with autism spectrum disorder, developmental delays, learning disabilities, attention difficulties and executive functioning challenges. She often works with children whose complex profiles are not easily captured by a single label or diagnosis. She particularly enjoys working with young children and helping parents through their “first touch” with mental health care or developmental concerns.

Dr. Asher’s approach to assessment is gentle and supportive, and recognizes the importance of building rapport and trust. When working with young children, Dr. Asher incorporates play and “games” that allow children to complete standardized assessments in a fun and engaging environment.

Dr. Asher has extensive experience working in public, charter and religious schools, both as a classroom teacher and psychologist. She holds a master’s degree in education and continues to love working with educators. As a psychologist working in public schools, she gained invaluable experience with the IEP process from start to finish. She incorporates both her educational and psychological training when formulating recommendations to school teams.

Dr. Asher attended Swarthmore College and the Jewish Theological Seminary. She completed her doctoral degree at Suffolk University, where her dissertation looked at the impact of starting middle school on children’s social and emotional wellbeing. After graduating, she completed an intensive fellowship at the MGH Lurie Center for Autism, where she worked with a wide range of children, adolescents and young adults with autism and related disorders.

 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology and related services practice with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; Coral Gables, Florida; and Coral Gables, Florida, serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

To book an appointment with a NESCA clinician, please complete our Inquiry/Intake Form today. For more information about NESCA, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

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Resilience, Covid and College Admissions

By | NESCA Notes 2021

By: Tabitha Monahan, M.A., CRC
NESCA Transition Specialist/Counselor

It’s been a year since schools across the nation closed their doors and moved education to the world wide web. Teachers, many of whom have never received training to teach in a virtual format, were now providing lessons remotely. The challenges of teaching remotely highlighted many of the disparities that affect our students. Students did not always have the technology or literal bandwidth to learn from home. Students with learning differences and disabilities faced even more challenges in receiving their support in a format not conducive to their needs. However, there were some silver linings. Students had more opportunities to practice executive function skills and become more familiar with software programs outside of video games, social media and YouTube videos.

As students – and, well, all of us – adjusted to the pandemic and what that meant for our daily lives, mental health concerns increased. Faced with uncertainty, constant changes and fear, anxiety, stress and depression increased among students. In response, they built coping skills.  Not all coping mechanisms are positive, but our kids survived this past year. As we work our way back to some semblance of normalcy, what does that mean for our students who were planning to move on to postsecondary education? Extracurricular activities are considered a relatively important part of the admissions process, but those weren’t available last spring and are barely available now. What should colleges use instead to find students that would be a good fit?

Resilience.

Resilience, the ability to adjust and adapt to changes and adversity, is an important factor necessary to reach goals, especially once a person faces a challenge. We encourage students to build resilience by setting high expectations of them and assisting them in creating challenging goals. We help students process what to do when they reach a roadblock. As students build coping skills and learning strategies, they are building resilience. How does resilience help in college? College is a different environment than high school. Many students experience challenges as they adjust to their newfound freedom and responsibilities. Students now find themselves responsible for scheduling their classes, getting to those classes and figuring out how to manage their schedules.

As colleges receive applications in a year unlike any in recent history, students may want to consider how they can show the colleges how they persevered. Matthew Pietrafetta of Academic Approach suggests students use the college admission essay as an opportunity to present the college with their stories that demonstrate how they became more resilient. Recommendations may also provide another factor for colleges to consider. Teachers and counselors understand the challenges that the student experienced and can share how they overcame adversity. Our students have already overcome additional challenges than many of their general education peers have not. Their past successes are the reason colleges should consider their admission. Test scores and grades are only one part of the picture. The next generation of college students has already built the resilience that will help them succeed. The past year has only exemplified this point further. Our students have proven that they can adapt and meet whatever challenges come their way. What a better way to prove to the colleges that they have what it takes?

Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7473764/

https://admissions.usf.edu/blog/do-extracurriculars-matter-in-the-college-admissions-process

https://www.insidehighered.com/admissions/views/2021/02/16/covid-19-era-college-admissions-officers-should-pay-attention-resilience?fbclid=IwAR3MNIb9ABfUJgVMZnyuJqKoF0HhBsOmYTB_ms4JZUbExvG9G_BbDUOn-gw

 

About the Author

Tabitha Monahan, M.A., CRC, is an experienced transition evaluator and vocational counselor. While she is well-versed in supporting a wide range of transition-aged youth, she is especially passionate and knowledgeable in helping clients and their families navigate the complex systems of adult services and benefits as well as medical and mental health systems. She is further adept in working individually with students of all abilities to empower self-advocacy and goal achievement.

 

To schedule an appointment with one of NESCA’s expert transition specialists or neuropsychologists, please complete our online intake form. 

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

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