We know that life is busy, and it’s often challenging to balance family and work activities and responsibilities. In an effort to offer more convenience to our clients and families, NESCA is now offering Saturday appointments for neuropsychological evaluations. For more information or to book a neuropsychological evaluation, complete our Inquiry/Intake Form.

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11
image of a teen stressed out, using a phone

Stress, Anxiety, and Social Media: Supporting Pre-Teens in a Digital World

By | NESCA Notes 2025 | No Comments

image of a teen stressed out, using a phoneBy: Cynthia Hess, PsyD
Pediatric Neuropsychologist, NESCA

In recent years, stress has become a more prevalent part of childhood. Fast-paced lives, evolving educational expectations, and the decline of unstructured social interactions have reshaped the developmental experience of today’s youth. One significant factor in this shift is the ever-expanding role of technology and social media.

Stress, fundamentally, is the body’s response to challenge. While short-term stress can be helpful, chronic stress has more lasting effects, keeping the body in a heightened state of arousal and often leading to anxiety. Anxiety differs from typical stress in that it is persistent, disproportionate to the situation, and frequently arises without a clear trigger. This type of emotional overload can significantly impede a child’s ability to learn, grow, and connect with others.

My own research, conducted with over 100 fifth- and sixth-grade students, revealed a strong correlation between time spent on social media and internalizing behaviors, such as anxiety and depression. Many pre-teens in the study reported having multiple devices and profiles on several social media platforms, with some spending an exceptional amount of time per week online, raising concerns about what is being lost in the process, both developmentally and emotionally.

Social media can disrupt nearly every area of development. Physically, pre-adolescents are navigating puberty and changes in body image, which are already sensitive subjects that curated online content can exacerbate. Neurologically, the brain is experiencing significant changes that facilitate higher-order thinking. However, constant digital stimulation can derail these processes, especially the development of executive functions such as attention, planning, and impulse control.

Cognitively, children at this age are becoming more curious, organized, and future-focused, but excessive screen time can reduce their attention span, ultimately making learning feel overwhelming. Emotionally, they are beginning to ask important questions about their identity and becoming more vulnerable to social pressures. When their emotional experiences are shaped more by online interactions than face-to-face ones, their ability to develop empathy, emotional intelligence, and resilience may be hindered.

Social development also takes a hit. The need to belong intensifies in pre-teen years, and social media often becomes a double-edged sword, offering connection, but also exposing kids to harmful trends, superficial relationships, and online bullying. Real-life communication skills can lag, leaving children less equipped to handle the challenges of peer relationships and conflict.

So, what can we do? First, we must recognize that our children are anxious. National data shows that a significant percentage of youth already carry a diagnosis of anxiety, and many more experience symptoms that go unnoticed. Repeated exposure to stress and the instant feedback loops of social media can create a cycle where children become increasingly anxious and reliant on screens to self-soothe.

As caregivers, educators, and community members, we can begin by fostering emotional awareness. Talk regularly with children about their feelings, help them differentiate between healthy stress and anxiety, and model appropriate emotional expression. Encourage healthy coping strategies, such as regular exercise, mindfulness practices, creative outlets, and spending time outdoors. Monitor their online activity, not from a place of punishment, but one of partnership, curiosity, and learning. Show genuine interest in what they’re doing online, who they’re talking to, and what content they’re consuming.

It’s also crucial to protect the basic developmental needs of children: ample sleep, nutritious food, physical activity, and unstructured playtime. Avoid overscheduling, set clear screen-time boundaries, and follow through with consistent expectations. Community matters, too, and building a culture where we support one another, share resources, and stay informed is essential. We are navigating uncharted and dynamic technological territory. But by staying connected to the needs of our children, both online and offline, we can help them build the emotional resilience and skills they need to thrive.

References:

Turkle, S. (2017). Alone together: Why we expect more from technology and less from each other. Basic Books.

Small, G., & Vorgan, G. (2008). iBrain: Surviving the technological alteration of the modern mind. New York: Harper Collins.

Uhls, Y. T., Michikyan, M., Morris, J., Garcia, D., Small, G. W., Zgourou, E., & Greenfield, P. M. (2014). Five days at an outdoor education camp without screens improve preteens’ skill with nonverbal emotion cues. Computers in Human Behavior, 39, 387-392. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2014.05.036

 

About the Author

Dr. Cynthia (Cindy) Hess conducts neuropsychological evaluations as a pediatric neuropsychologist at NESCA. Dr. Hess enjoys working with children and young adults with complex emotional and behavioral profiles. She is skilled at evaluating social and emotional challenges as well as a range of learning profiles. Her experience allows her to guide families in understanding the supports and services their child requires to be successful in school.

 

To schedule an appointment with one of NESCA’s expert neuropsychologists, please complete our online intake form. 

 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; and staff in the greater Burlington, Vermont region and Brooklyn, New York, serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

11

How to Make the Holidays Less Stressful

By | Nesca Notes 2023

By: Maggie Rodriguez, Psy.D.
Pediatric Neuropsychologist, NESCA

Are the holidays the “most magical time of the year?” Maybe, but they can also be the most stressful. In fact, a recent survey by the American Psychological Association found that 41% of U.S. adults experience increased stress levels around the holidays, while 52% find their stress levels remain the same, and only 7% feel less stressed this time of year. A whopping 43% of American adults acknowledge that the stress that accompanies the holidays compromises their ability to enjoy them (and that number includes only the people willing to admit it!).

As an adult reading this, you may be thinking this information comes as no surprise and you’re all too aware of the stress that comes with the holidays. What you may not realize as fully is that this time of year can be stressful for children as well. While the holidays can bring excitement and fun, they can also present challenges, particularly for our kids and teens who struggle with underlying mental health issues (such as anxiety or depression) or neurodevelopmental conditions (such as Autism, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or Sensory Processing Disorder). For the next few weeks, many of us will be attempting to navigate our own holiday-related stress and manage the stress our children may feel and express in a variety of ways. So, if you’re feeling less overwhelmed with excitement and joy and instead simply overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Here are some strategies for making the holidays work for you:

Notice and recognize the impact of expectations. It all starts here. From Hallmark movies to the pictures posted by mom-fluencers on Instagram, we are bombarded with unrealistic images of what the holidays “should” look like. Social media is particularly insidious, as it tends to contribute to a sense that the everyday, real people around us (not just those celebrities in magazines) are living what we see reflected in their carefully edited and curated photos. It’s important to remind ourselves that these images don’t reflect the reality of life and that we don’t see 99% of what happens in the daily lives of those we follow on social media. We may see the images of perfectly decorated Christmas cookies but not the kitchen counters covered in flour, eggs, and frosting (or the parent yelling) in the background. We click on the beautiful photo of three kids all smiling at the camera from Santa’s lap but don’t see the 25 outtakes featuring those same children in tears, sticking out their tongues, or bolting out of the frame. Realizing this and taking a step back is key for ourselves and our children, who may also need explicit information about what they can expect (for instance, regarding the number of and type of gifts they will get based on your family’s budget versus what they envision).

Realize we also all harbor implicit ideas about what the holidays “should” look like based on our experiences growing up and the way our families did things, which we take for granted. If you’re in a relationship, you may have encountered your own hidden expectations if they ever come into conflict with those of your significant other. Even if you celebrate the same holiday(s), you may do so in very different ways. Some of you may be familiar with conversations, such as, “What do you mean your family decorates the tree Christmas Eve? Christmas trees go up as soon as we put our jack-o-lanterns in the compost on November 1st!” If you and your partner celebrate different holidays or your kids split their time between your home and that of another parent, all of this becomes much more complicated. So, talk about it openly and together. As a family, re-evaluate your expectations and traditions, and start with a blank slate. Sit down together, make your expectations explicit, then assess them together.

Ask some questions, such as:

  • What does each family member, kids included, envision the holidays will look like? This might be general and abstract (maybe Mom wants to ensure there’s downtime for rest and relaxation) or concrete (maybe the kids want to go ice skating over winter break, and Dad wants to make sure the family goes to midnight mass on Christmas Eve). How will you make this work both logistically and in terms of balancing different needs?
  • What traditions do you automatically take part in, and do they work for your family at this particular moment in time? Although traditions are important and meaningful, blind and rigid adherence to rituals and routines that don’t work for us don’t benefit anyone. We often take part in traditions without questioning whether they add to our lives or why we started doing them in the first place.

Once you’ve had these discussions, consider that you don’t have to “do” the holidays the same way ever single year. There’s no rule that says every holiday season has to look the same. Do you always go take photos with Santa at the mall even though your kids inevitably resist the idea, become anxious and overwhelmed, and you end up frustrated? Open up to the possibility of forgoing that tradition even if it’s just for the time being. Do you make an elaborate holiday dinner each year but aren’t up to it this year? Consider finding an alternative for now that takes the stress off of you and still aligns with your priorities. If what’s important to you is enjoying a meal with your family, maybe you can still do that while letting go of the need to do it all yourself.

Modify your expectations and make accommodations for your children given their unique personalities and potential challenges. This might mean forgoing busy and crowded events, such as parties, for children and teens who struggle with anxiety in social settings or become easily overwhelmed by sensory input. Or maybe you still attend, but you have a pre-established plan for leaving by a certain time and/or managing distress that may arise. These days, many public spaces that host events (e.g., museums, theaters) hold modified sensory-friendly versions of events at specified times. For many children, building in predictable routines, and previewing special plans or changes to their usual schedules can be very helpful. For kids or adolescents with significant “picky” eating or Avoidant-Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), you might consider hosting a holiday dinner at your house so you have control over the menu or bringing food you know your child will eat if you’re visiting others. Many kids with ADHD will need movement breaks, so think ahead about how you’ll work those in depending on your plans. It helps to think ahead and have a flexible plan for meeting your kids’ needs in different scenarios.

Now for the twist. Remember that APA study I quoted at the start of this blog? Well, even though so many people reported significant stress, it also found that 69% of adults feel the stress of the holidays is “worth it,” and many endorse positive outcomes related to the holidays, including an increased sense of togetherness. No matter what or how you celebrate, the holidays can be a wonderful and meaningful time of the year, and the odds of finding joy, connection, and calm will be higher if you take a step back and figure out how to make the holidays fit into your life and work for your family.

References:
https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress

 

About the Author

Maggie Rodriguez, Psy.D., provides comprehensive evaluation services for children, adolescents, and young adults with often complex presentations. She particularly enjoys working with individuals who have concerns about attention and executive functioning, language-based learning disorders, and those with overlapping cognitive and social/emotional difficulties.

Prior to joining NESCA, Dr. Rodriguez worked in private practice, where she completed assessments with high-functioning students presenting with complex cognitive profiles whose areas of weakness may have gone previously undiagnosed. Dr. Rodriguez’s experience also includes pre- and post-doctoral training in the Learning Disability Clinic at Boston Children’s Hospital and the Neurodevelopmental Center at MassGeneral for Children/North Shore Medical Center. Dr. Rodriguez has spent significant time working with students in academic settings, including k-12 public and charter school systems and private academic programs, such as the Threshold Program at Lesley University.

Dr. Rodriguez earned her Psy.D. from William James College in 2012, where her coursework and practicum training focused on clinical work with children and adolescents and on assessment. Her doctoral thesis centered on cultural issues related to evaluation.

Dr. Rodriguez lives north of Boston with her husband and three young children.  She enjoys spending time outdoors hiking and bike riding with her family, practicing yoga, and reading.

To book a consultation with Dr. Rodriguez or one of our many other expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form.

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; and the greater Burlington, Vermont region, serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

10

Receiving, Understanding, and Sharing Diagnostic Labels and Profiles

By | NESCA Notes 2022

By Yvonne M. Asher, Ph.D. 
Pediatric Neuropsychologist

A recent New York Times article described a trend, noticed by many mental health professionals, where adolescents and young adults have been exploring mental health on social media. The article references the explosion of TikTok videos in which individuals disclose their psychiatric diagnoses and symptoms. For young people searching on social media, these videos are shown at an increasing rate, based on algorithms. Young people are finding a great deal of validation and connection by watching these videos. Many begin to seek out mental health support, often entering the therapeutic relationship with a clear idea of what their diagnosis will be.

As a mental health professional, I see a great deal of complexity coming from this trend. Certainly, the dissemination of information about mental health and reduction in stigma seems to be positive. Allowing individuals to more readily learn about psychiatric conditions will hopefully reduce fear, embarrassment, shame, and avoidance of mental health care. In addition, promoting self-understanding is important, particularly for young people who are in a developmental stage of identity exploration.

However, there are also concerning implications. First, self-diagnosis can be problematic in mental health, as it is in the medical field. There is a fine balance between being an informed health care consumer and a patient unwilling to listen to the expert opinion of their physician. Entering a physician’s office, unwavering in certainty of your diagnosis, can lead to friction and frustration. In contrast, entering with relevant personal and family history, a thoughtful list of your current symptoms, and readily accessible notes on recent changes in your lifestyle can be invaluable in partnering with your doctor to determine the origin of the problem. This is paralleled in mental health. Entering a therapeutic or evaluation process with information and an open mind is vital to the partnership between clients and clinicians.

The other implication of this trend involves the necessity of a formal diagnosis. I hear from many individuals, after a comprehensive neuropsychological evaluation is completed, that they feel relief at “finally knowing what is wrong.” This validation is entirely understandable, and is not restricted to times when I have provided a diagnostic label. An in-depth exploration of neurocognitive strengths and weaknesses can provide invaluable information that can help individuals understand themselves, access what they need, and plan for their future. Sometimes, a client’s symptoms are best captured by a diagnostic label. However, other times, a person’s comprehensively evaluated profile does not warrant a formal diagnosis. The latter does not mean that a person’s symptoms are any less valid or impactful. Formal diagnoses generally require multiple symptoms, occurring within specified timeframes, and occurring in the presence or absence of other important factors. There are many instances where a symptom is clearly impactful and interfering for a client, without the client’s profile meeting the full range of criteria necessary for a diagnosis. At other times, a symptom that appears, on the surface, to indicate one diagnosis, may in fact indicate a very different diagnosis after a person’s full neuropsychological profile is explored.

As a wise mentor once told me that, in the evaluation process, we must “hold our hypotheses lightly.” We enter a therapeutic relationship, either as a client or a clinician, with a sense of what we might discover or be told. Our initial sense can be entirely accurate, or shockingly incorrect. Therefore, it is vital for all of us to hold our ideas about what may come from an evaluation lightly.

 

About the Author

Dr. Yvonne M. Asher enjoys working with a wide range of children and teens, including those with autism spectrum disorder, developmental delays, learning disabilities, attention difficulties and executive functioning challenges. She often works with children whose complex profiles are not easily captured by a single label or diagnosis. She particularly enjoys working with young children and helping parents through their “first touch” with mental health care or developmental concerns.

Dr. Asher’s approach to assessment is gentle and supportive, and recognizes the importance of building rapport and trust. When working with young children, Dr. Asher incorporates play and “games” that allow children to complete standardized assessments in a fun and engaging environment.

Dr. Asher has extensive experience working in public, charter and religious schools, both as a classroom teacher and psychologist. She holds a master’s degree in education and continues to love working with educators. As a psychologist working in public schools, she gained invaluable experience with the IEP process from start to finish. She incorporates both her educational and psychological training when formulating recommendations to school teams.

Dr. Asher attended Swarthmore College and the Jewish Theological Seminary. She completed her doctoral degree at Suffolk University, where her dissertation looked at the impact of starting middle school on children’s social and emotional wellbeing. After graduating, she completed an intensive fellowship at the MGH Lurie Center for Autism, where she worked with a wide range of children, adolescents and young adults with autism and related disorders.

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

To book an appointment with Dr. Yvonne Asher, please complete our Intake Form today. For more information about NESCA, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

8

Cyberbullying and Autism Spectrum Disorders

By | NESCA Notes 2021

By Yvonne M. Asher, Ph.D. 
Pediatric Neuropsychologist

I recently had the opportunity to attend a webinar by Justin Patchin, Ph.D., one of the foremost cyberbullying researchers. I have used his work myself in designing both my master’s thesis and doctoral dissertation research, so it was wonderful to hear him speak. He began with a story about his childhood and some of the rules he was taught – don’t meet up with strangers that you meet online, don’t get into anyone’s car if you don’t know them well – lessons I was also taught as a child. These are the kind of rules that individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) often crave – black and white, clear, no middle ground. The online world, he argued, does not allow for such stark and rigid rules. Rather, he says, it calls for “guidelines.” Working with children with ASD, when I hear “guidelines,” I think, “grey,” “fuzzy,” and “it depends.” These can be some of the toughest situations for an individual who is not neurotypical.

I think he’s right. The online world is fast, fluid, ever-changing, and highly dependent on specific circumstances. It calls for the kind of flexible thinking and evaluation of context that kids with ASD are so often challenged by. Yet, as the adults parenting, educating, and supporting these young people, these are exactly the skills that they need. The online world is not going anywhere anytime soon, and it is not likely to slow down either.

Cyberbullying is one of the difficult online phenomena to manage, as youth who are bullied online are most frequently also bullied in “real life,” usually at school. The bullies are often peers they know and must see on a regular basis. For children with social challenges, navigating bullying that is occurring across settings is an especially difficult task. And the solution is not to take away technology. Now more than ever, children need access to technology for homework, classwork, enjoyable peer activities, and hobbies. Where does that leave us?

Unfortunately, Dr. Patchin did not give any practical advice for how to support individuals with autism around cyberbullying. I think that one important starting point is to help these individuals learn to check in with themselves. Time and time again, I hear from students, “I’m not really sure what was going on, but I think they were being mean.” (In fact, I hear this from children who are decidedly not on the autism spectrum, especially when bullying is occurring by older peers.) Bullying is hurtful (intentionally so), and recognizing that hurt is an important first step. Once children and adolescents identify that something is hurtful, adults can help and support them in navigating through the situation.

Whether bullying, cyberbullying, or a misunderstanding, it is important for adults to listen carefully when children come to us with social concerns. In addition, we must have a solid understanding of the online world in which students are living, learning, and engaging. Social media shifts rapidly, with new platforms becoming wildly popular in a matter of weeks. Working with youth requires us to keep as current as we can, making certain that we understand the “ins and outs” of each platform. It is also incumbent upon us to ensure that all children and adolescents (not just those with an autism diagnosis) learn guidelines that will allow them to safely make their way through a constantly evolving world of platforms, apps, and services. Safety online is as critical as safety in person.

 

About the Author

Dr. Yvonne M. Asher enjoys working with a wide range of children and teens, including those with autism spectrum disorder, developmental delays, learning disabilities, attention difficulties and executive functioning challenges. She often works with children whose complex profiles are not easily captured by a single label or diagnosis. She particularly enjoys working with young children and helping parents through their “first touch” with mental health care or developmental concerns.

Dr. Asher’s approach to assessment is gentle and supportive, and recognizes the importance of building rapport and trust. When working with young children, Dr. Asher incorporates play and “games” that allow children to complete standardized assessments in a fun and engaging environment.

Dr. Asher has extensive experience working in public, charter and religious schools, both as a classroom teacher and psychologist. She holds a master’s degree in education and continues to love working with educators. As a psychologist working in public schools, she gained invaluable experience with the IEP process from start to finish. She incorporates both her educational and psychological training when formulating recommendations to school teams.

Dr. Asher attended Swarthmore College and the Jewish Theological Seminary. She completed her doctoral degree at Suffolk University, where her dissertation looked at the impact of starting middle school on children’s social and emotional wellbeing. After graduating, she completed an intensive fellowship at the MGH Lurie Center for Autism, where she worked with a wide range of children, adolescents and young adults with autism and related disorders.

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

To book an appointment with Dr. Yvonne Asher, please complete our Intake Form today. For more information about NESCA, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

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