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foing with the flow

Going with the Flow

By | NESCA Notes 2021

By Dot Lucci, M.Ed., CAGS
Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services, NESCA

It’s September, and a new school year has already begun for most children. We had hoped that Covid would be behind us and the start of this school year would begin with a greater semblance of the old normal. Sigh…it has not. We are still wearing masks, keeping our distance and washing hands amongst other health considerations. Many students are eager to get back to school and in-person learning even though they have to wear masks. Many are accustomed to it, and it is no big deal. However, there are those students who preferred virtual learning and have grown more and more anxious at the thought of going back to in-person learning.

Back at the start of the pandemic, I wrote a blog about going with the flow, and it seemed appropriate to reintroduce the topic again as we start another school year still with so much uncertainty. Will there be outbreaks of the new variants at school? Will there be quarantines happening again? Will someone in my family, class, school get sick and how serious will it be?  We don’t know the answers to these questions, and worrying about them doesn’t help us be in the moment. In Bostonia’s current cover piece, “The kids are stressed, anxious, lonely, struggling, learning, grateful, adapting, alright,” Eric Moskowitz summed it up accurately. What researchers found is that children who were at a disadvantage before the pandemic suffered the most – which is not surprising – yet overall kids are resilient.

In  Angela Currie’s recent blog, “Helping Students Transition Back to School,” she covers the essentials of establishing bed time/morning routines, connecting with teachers, mask wearing routines and many more. I would like to add to her list with the psychological, social and emotional routines and ways of being that will also make the transition smoother.

Education Week offers a few social-emotional checklists that are good to review to help you set your student off on the right foot as they start this school year.

  • First check in with yourself and your own emotions/feelings. If you are feeling anxious, do something to help calm your emotions and gain some centeredness. Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.
  • Establish those all so important sleep, eating and exercise routines.
  • Establish a calming routine that the family can do together for a few minutes (i.e., yoga, mindful minute, deep breathing, etc.).
  • Acknowledge the breadth of feelings your child may have and how rapidly they may change. Point this out to him/her when they are calm. Introduce the realization that thoughts are connected to feelings, and they can change their thoughts to help their feelings change. Be understanding, supportive and empathetic yet also encourage your student to use their “past data” to support their progress forward through their feelings.
  • As Angela said, establish routines and predictability at home but also model and help your child know that things don’t always go as planned. Have routines yet be flexible, adaptable and a “go with the flow” mindset will be essential as s/he enters this school year. There are always Plans B, C, and D when Plan A doesn’t work. For instance, you may insist your child wear a mask and another child in his class, or afterschool activity/sport, may not. Preview this possible scenario so your child can adept and accept. Or, a student starts the year in-person, but then hybrid (hopefully not) happens…again. You get the idea about teaching flexibility.
  • Stay positive even in the midst of uncertainty, as this helps create the right biochemical mix that allows you to think more clearly.
  • Be aware of your thoughts and help your child be aware of their thoughts. Thoughts influence our mood, feelings and behavior, and we can exert control over them.
  • Be grateful (end the night with a gratitude moment).
  • Be supportive. Acknowledge the efforts, tasks, feelings, etc. that your kids are taking on and experiencing. It helps them develop self-confidence, self-esteem, self-efficacy, pride and a sense of competence.
  • Be hopeful. Yesterday is history (don’t dwell there), tomorrow is a mystery (don’t worry about it) and today is a gift (even if you don’t feel like it is). Be present and allow whatever feelings come up (positive or negative) to flow through you so you can make way for new feelings.

Wishing everyone a smooth start to the 2021-2022 school year, and may the force be with us as we continue to combat Covid.



About the Author

NESCA’s Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services Dot Lucci has been active in the fields of education, psychology, research and academia for over 30 years. She is a national consultant and speaker on program design and the inclusion of children and adolescents with special needs, especially those diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Prior to joining NESCA, Ms. Lucci was the Principal of the Partners Program/EDCO Collaborative and previously the Program Director and Director of Consultation at MGH/Aspire for 13 years, where she built child, teen and young adult programs and established the 3-Ss (self-awareness, social competency and stress management) as the programming backbone. She also served as director of the Autism Support Center. Ms. Lucci was previously an elementary classroom teacher, special educator, researcher, school psychologist, college professor and director of public schools, a private special education school and an education collaborative.

Ms. Lucci directs NESCA’s consultation services to public and private schools, colleges and universities, businesses and community agencies. She also provides psychoeducational counseling directly to students and parents. Ms. Lucci’s clinical interests include mind-body practices, positive psychology, and the use of technology and biofeedback devices in the instruction of social and emotional learning, especially as they apply to neurodiverse individuals.


To book a consultation with Ms. Lucci or one of our many expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form. Indicate whether you are seeking an “evaluation” or “consultation” and your preferred clinician/consultant in the referral line.


Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email or call 617-658-9800.