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Image of a student putting forth effort on an exam and a quote from a NESCA clinician

The Right Praise Leads to Grit – Part 2

By | NESCA Notes 2026

Image of a student putting forth effort on an exam and a quote from a NESCA clinicianBy Dot Lucci, M.Ed., CAGS
Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services, NESCA

In my last blog, I discussed why the right kind of praise matters for students. In Part 2 of my blog series about Praise, I’m going to discuss how the right kind of praise leads to students having grit or perseverance. Grit or perseverance is often understood as sustained effort toward a achieving a goal. Research links grit, self-regulated learning, and resilience with students’ engagement and persistence in challenging academic tasks as the ability persist through challenges, setbacks, and failures.

In Part 1, I discussed Carol Dweck’s research that distinguished praising intelligence versus praising effort. When students are told they are “smart,” their identity gets “locked in” on being/appearing smart, so they avoid difficult tasks that could expose them to failure or being perceived as “dumb or not smart.” Therefore, praising effort encourages a “growth mindset,” which is the belief that abilities can develop through learning, practice, and persistence.

This idea connects directly to grit. Praising effort naturally encourages grit. It teaches that productive failure is part of the learning process and prepares students for setting long-term goals or assignments that are challenging. It prepares them for life! Failure should be viewed as a part of life and learning, and not associated with shame or a permanent label. Failure can be used as a jumping off point to explore where the breakdown happened. This is why we praise “productive failure.” It encourages students to ask questions about what happened and move forward with curiosity. Grades should not be ignored, but they should not be the sole object of praise. Instead, use good grades as a recognition of mastery of content, study habits, effort, perseverance, practicing the hardest problems, asking for help when needed, and revising mistakes, etc.

Teachers and parents should praise actions instead of results or identity labels. Instead of saying, “You’re such a math whiz,” try saying, “You stuck with those confusing word problems and kept trying a different approach, that’s great.” Or instead of, “You failed the test,” one can offer, “This test score shows me that you didn’t really understand this concept or study in a way that allowed you to master the content.” These types of phrases show students that failure and setbacks are temporary and actionable – not permanent.

A growth mindset allows students to approach life with an openness that allows them to fail, make mistakes, and be/feel okay about themselves. It does not define who they are as a person! Praise about the process they took or the effort they put forth helps students develop intrinsic motivation, resilience, and greater challenge-seeking behaviors. They don’t see themselves as a failure and won’t give up as easily. Remind them that failure is part of learning, and building grit will carry them forward in future endeavors. Praising effective strategies, improvement, and sustained effort can help students develop resilience. Ultimately, praise that emphasizes the process of learning can strengthen the mindset that supports grit, helping individuals persist because they understand that effort can lead to growth.

As we send students back to school for the new academic year, remember the impact that giving the right kind of praise can make in the short- and long-term in helping them to build both a growth mindset and grit in their school life and life in general.

 

Resources:

“How to Encourage Academic Grit and a Growth Mindset in Your Students”
By Princy Quadros-Mennella, PhD, Associate Professor of Psychology, Director of the Neuroscience Program, Bay Path University and Thomas Mennella, PhD, Associate Professor of Biology Director of the M.S. in Applied Laboratory Science and Operations Program, Bay Path University
https://www.academicimpressions.com/how-to-encourage-academic-grit-and-a-growth-mindset-in-your-students/

Psychologist Angela Duckworth’s research about grit:
https://www.angeladuckworth.com

https://americanradioworks.publicradio.org/features/tomorrows-college/grit/angela-duckworth-grit.html

 

About the Author

NESCA’s Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services Dot Lucci has been active in the fields of education, psychology, research and academia for over 30 years. She is a national consultant and speaker on program design and the inclusion of children and adolescents with special needs, especially those diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Prior to joining NESCA, Ms. Lucci was the Principal of the Partners Program/EDCO Collaborative and previously the Program Director and Director of Consultation at MGH/Aspire for 13 years, where she built child, teen and young adult programs and established the 3-Ss (self-awareness, social competency and stress management) as the programming backbone. She also served as director of the Autism Support Center. Ms. Lucci was previously an elementary classroom teacher, special educator, researcher, school psychologist, college professor and director of public schools, a private special education school and an education collaborative.

Ms. Lucci directs NESCA’s consultation services to public and private schools, colleges and universities, businesses and community agencies. She also provides psychoeducational counseling directly to students and parents. Ms. Lucci’s clinical interests include mind-body practices, positive psychology, and the use of technology and biofeedback devices in the instruction of social and emotional learning, especially as they apply to neurodiverse individuals.

To book a consultation with Ms. Lucci or one of our many expert clinicians, complete NESCA’s online intake form. Indicate whether you are seeking an “evaluation” or “consultation” and your preferred clinician/consultant/service in the referral line.

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and related services center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; and Coral Gables, Florida, serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

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The Importance of Building Grit

By | NESCA Notes 2024

By: Alissa Talamo, PhD
Pediatric Neuropsychologist, NESCA

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

– Michael Jordan

 “Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another.”

– Angela Duckworth, “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance”

What is it that separates those who succeed and those who give up? Is it talent? Is it luck? In the book, “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” psychologist Angela Duckworth examined why some people are more successful than others, and she concluded that the common denominator is ‘grit.’ She defines grit as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals” and notes that “bouncing back from failure turns out to be one of the best lessons a kid can learn.” While we, as parents, sometimes focus on academic success to help our children succeed, Angela Duckworth believes that grit “matters more to a child’s ability to reach his full potential than intelligence, skill, or even grades.” Research into grit also finds that, unlike IQ, which is relatively fixed, grit is something everyone can develop.

While some children seem to be naturally grittier than others, we can help our children develop the habits of persistence and perseverance that will allow them opportunities to be successful in whatever it is they feel passionate about. So, how do we help our children develop the ability to push through when things get hard, recognize that making a mistake is an opportunity to learn rather than a ‘failure,’ and stay focused on goals even during times of disappointment?

One important thing parents and teachers can do is to model and encourage goal setting. It is important to encourage children to set realistic and achievable short-term goals, so that they can experience small successes that will keep them motivated to reach their long-term goals. For example, a short-term goal could be to practice the piano for 20 minutes per day with the long-term goal of participating in the school talent show.

As parents or caregivers, we tend to want to ‘fix’ things for our children, or make the path easier for them, but to truly develop grit, a child must be provided opportunities to attempt difficult things. According to Duckworth, “It has to be something that requires discipline to practice,” and she reminds parents to remember that the actual activity doesn’t matter as much as the effort, and that it is effort that should be rewarded over achievement.

It is also important to model to children that success does not occur right away, that practice and perseverance are needed, and that learning something new is hard but that does not mean they will not be good at it. Additionally, when a child does come across a problem, rather than solve the problem for them, encourage them to figure out a way to solve it themselves. According to Paul Tough, author of “How Children Succeed,” “It’s so much more powerful for a child to be able to deal with adversity and overcome it. What the child takes from that experience is, ‘Hey, I can solve things.’”

Most importantly, children learn what they see, so demonstrate to your child that you are able to take on tasks that are sometimes scary. And while sometimes you may have difficulty with those tasks or even fail to complete them, your ability to persevere, problem solve, and bounce back from these experiences will go far in allowing children to believe that they also can try hard things, that failing is not a lack of success but a stepping stone to gaining a skill, and that perseverance and grit are traits that will serve them well as they continue to grow and develop.

Sources:

https://www.scholastic.com/parents/family-life/social-emotional-learning/social-skills-for-kids/power-defeat-how-to-raise-kid-grit.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021,Grit and academic achievement: A comparative cross-cultural meta-analysis

“Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” Angela Duckworth, Scribner, 2016

“How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character,” Paul Tough, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012

 

About the Author

With NESCA since its inception in 2007, Dr. Talamo had previously practiced for many years as a child and adolescent clinical psychologist before completing postdoctoral re-training in pediatric neuropsychology at the Children’s Evaluation Center.

After receiving her undergraduate degree from Columbia University, Dr. Talamo earned her doctorate in clinical health psychology from Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology and the Albert Einstein College of Medicine at Yeshiva University.

She has given a number of presentations, most recently on “How to Recognize a Struggling Reader,” “Supporting Students with Working Memory Limitations,” (with Bonnie Singer, Ph.D., CCC-SLP of Architects for Learning), and “Executive Function in Elementary and Middle School Students.”

Dr. Talamo specializes in working with children and adolescents with language-based learning disabilities including dyslexia, attentional disorders, and emotional issues. She is also interested in working with highly gifted children.

Her professional memberships include MAGE (Massachusetts Association for Gifted Education), IDA (International Dyslexia Association), MABIDA (the Massachusetts division of IDA) and MNS (the Massachusetts Neuropsychological Society).

She is the mother of one college-aged daughter.

To book a consultation with Dr. Talamo or one of our many other expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form.

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; the greater Burlington, Vermont region; and Brooklyn, New York (coaching services only) serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

1

Why are they called “Soft” Skills?

By | NESCA Notes 2019

By Kathleen Pignone, M.Ed., CRC
Transition Specialist

If they are soft, why are they so crucial in this hard, cruel world? As a transition specialist, I meet with young adults and their parents on a daily basis. All parents want to know what is that missing piece for child to really succeed after high school? What should my priorities be? Is the right college more important than the right internship or vise versa? I often hear the saying, “I remember in my day, you just dusted yourself off and kept going. Why is this new generation struggling?”

While I don’t have an answer to those profound questions, I can offer some go-to skills that will support our young adults as they transition from high school to college, the world of work and the great beyond…soft skills—those intangible, hard-to-pin-down skills that we all know we need to succeed, but are so hard to teach. As a wise practitioner once told me, “Just because it is simple, it doesn’t make it easy.” While it’s critical to teach, prepare and equip our students with the necessary skills for academic success, soft skills can be just as important in many instances. Young adults need a balance of academic, executive functioning, communication and soft skills to set themselves up for success in their multi-faceted life after high school. These soft skills can make the difference between candidates competing for college acceptance and job opportunities.

I also like to refer to these skills as the job keeping and high achieving skills. Strong foundational academic, planning and team-building skills are necessary for success, but these soft skills are the subtle differences observed in the student chosen for that internship by the professor and recognized in the entry-level employee who quickly advances to the mentor employee.

In my practice, I am witness to amazing, capable, energizing and unique young adults, who are unaware of the many talents and strengths they already possess. I work to coach, teach and persuade them that these soft skills are in there, but are struggling to make an appearance. The key is identifying them and knowing when to call on them in stressful times. As a transition specialist, I offer the young people I meet with the opportunities to name and own these skills within themselves. For example, when a teenager is struggling with school, but shows up every day, I introduce them to their “grit,” their get-up- and-go and “try again” skill.  By identifying skills that may just be lying dormant or unrecognized, I offer them a chance to see that they have an innate strength that has both a name and a purpose. These skills are not only necessary, but are transferable to all aspects of their future lives. Their internal grit pushes them to go to class when their roommate is sleeping in and go to work even though they have a cold and could call out sick.

By definition, students ready to transition from high school are at an age and stage of curiosity, exploration, hope and optimism. But they may easily miss out on identifying these characteristics as strengths and skills, if we do not point it out and celebrate it with them. When they are resisting rules and boundaries, they are employing their skills of curiosity and exploration. When they want to protest against inequity in this unfair world and are perceived as naive and inexperienced, I praise their hope and optimism. We talk about how these soft skills are integral to their success as an adult and will serve them as they continue to grow and learn.

Young adults in our current society have no other option than to be flexible and adaptable. Technology is constantly updating and changing, forcing them to move forward or be left behind. Their resilience in handling all that social media exposes them to on a daily basis is admirable. I wouldn’t have stood as tall and strong as they do with such public scrutiny.

As we prepare our young adults for life after high school, let us always take the time to see, name and recognize the strengths and soft skills they show us. We have the opportunity to observe and learn from them and value these skills so that they may offer themselves as resources to their community. The balance necessary to teach young people how to manage an interdependent world as an adult is complicated. It is exciting and energizing to witness young people find these strengths within themselves, helping them to conquer that great big world.

 

About the Author:

Kathleen Pignone, M.Ed. CRC is a deeply knowledgeable and experienced transition specialist. Prior to her tenure at NESCA, Ms. Pignone was the Career Development Director at Bay Cove Academy for 15 years, providing students with classroom and real-world employment skills training, community job placement and on the job employment-training. She has also worked at Massachusetts Department of Secondary and Elementary Education and privately as a vocational rehabilitation consultant. As a certified rehabilitation counselor, Ms. Pignone brings unique expertise carrying out vocational assessment and employment planning for adolescents and young adults as well as supporting local school programs. In addition to fortifying NESCA’s premier transition assessment services, Ms. Pignone engages in person-centered planning with teens and young adults, consultation and training for parents, providers and schools, and community-based coaching services.

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

To book a transition assessment or consultation with Kathleen, please complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

 

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