NESCA’s Londonderry, NH location has immediate availability for neuropsychological evaluations. Our NH clinicians specialize in the following evaluations: Neuropsychological; Autism; and Emotional and Psychological, as well as Academic Achievement and Learning Disability Testing. Our NH clinicians also conduct evaluations for students who are at boarding schools, and two of our NH clinicians have PsyPACT authorization, allowing them to conduct evaluations out-of-state.

Visit www.nesca-newton.com/intake for more information or to book an evaluation.

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8

The Importance of Building Grit

By | NESCA Notes 2024

By: Alissa Talamo, PhD
Pediatric Neuropsychologist, NESCA

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

– Michael Jordan

 “Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another.”

– Angela Duckworth, “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance”

What is it that separates those who succeed and those who give up? Is it talent? Is it luck? In the book, “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” psychologist Angela Duckworth examined why some people are more successful than others, and she concluded that the common denominator is ‘grit.’ She defines grit as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals” and notes that “bouncing back from failure turns out to be one of the best lessons a kid can learn.” While we, as parents, sometimes focus on academic success to help our children succeed, Angela Duckworth believes that grit “matters more to a child’s ability to reach his full potential than intelligence, skill, or even grades.” Research into grit also finds that, unlike IQ, which is relatively fixed, grit is something everyone can develop.

While some children seem to be naturally grittier than others, we can help our children develop the habits of persistence and perseverance that will allow them opportunities to be successful in whatever it is they feel passionate about. So, how do we help our children develop the ability to push through when things get hard, recognize that making a mistake is an opportunity to learn rather than a ‘failure,’ and stay focused on goals even during times of disappointment?

One important thing parents and teachers can do is to model and encourage goal setting. It is important to encourage children to set realistic and achievable short-term goals, so that they can experience small successes that will keep them motivated to reach their long-term goals. For example, a short-term goal could be to practice the piano for 20 minutes per day with the long-term goal of participating in the school talent show.

As parents or caregivers, we tend to want to ‘fix’ things for our children, or make the path easier for them, but to truly develop grit, a child must be provided opportunities to attempt difficult things. According to Duckworth, “It has to be something that requires discipline to practice,” and she reminds parents to remember that the actual activity doesn’t matter as much as the effort, and that it is effort that should be rewarded over achievement.

It is also important to model to children that success does not occur right away, that practice and perseverance are needed, and that learning something new is hard but that does not mean they will not be good at it. Additionally, when a child does come across a problem, rather than solve the problem for them, encourage them to figure out a way to solve it themselves. According to Paul Tough, author of “How Children Succeed,” “It’s so much more powerful for a child to be able to deal with adversity and overcome it. What the child takes from that experience is, ‘Hey, I can solve things.’”

Most importantly, children learn what they see, so demonstrate to your child that you are able to take on tasks that are sometimes scary. And while sometimes you may have difficulty with those tasks or even fail to complete them, your ability to persevere, problem solve, and bounce back from these experiences will go far in allowing children to believe that they also can try hard things, that failing is not a lack of success but a stepping stone to gaining a skill, and that perseverance and grit are traits that will serve them well as they continue to grow and develop.

Sources:

https://www.scholastic.com/parents/family-life/social-emotional-learning/social-skills-for-kids/power-defeat-how-to-raise-kid-grit.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021,Grit and academic achievement: A comparative cross-cultural meta-analysis

“Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” Angela Duckworth, Scribner, 2016

“How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character,” Paul Tough, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012

 

About the Author

With NESCA since its inception in 2007, Dr. Talamo had previously practiced for many years as a child and adolescent clinical psychologist before completing postdoctoral re-training in pediatric neuropsychology at the Children’s Evaluation Center.

After receiving her undergraduate degree from Columbia University, Dr. Talamo earned her doctorate in clinical health psychology from Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology and the Albert Einstein College of Medicine at Yeshiva University.

She has given a number of presentations, most recently on “How to Recognize a Struggling Reader,” “Supporting Students with Working Memory Limitations,” (with Bonnie Singer, Ph.D., CCC-SLP of Architects for Learning), and “Executive Function in Elementary and Middle School Students.”

Dr. Talamo specializes in working with children and adolescents with language-based learning disabilities including dyslexia, attentional disorders, and emotional issues. She is also interested in working with highly gifted children.

Her professional memberships include MAGE (Massachusetts Association for Gifted Education), IDA (International Dyslexia Association), MABIDA (the Massachusetts division of IDA) and MNS (the Massachusetts Neuropsychological Society).

She is the mother of one college-aged daughter.

To book a consultation with Dr. Talamo or one of our many other expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form.

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; the greater Burlington, Vermont region; and Brooklyn, New York (coaching services only) serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

154

Executive Function Tools: Natural Consequences

By | NESCA Notes 2021

By: Sophie Bellenis, OTD, OTR/L
Occupational Therapist; Real-life Skills Program Manager and Coach, NESCA

In my last blog that focused on executive function tools, I delved into the benefits of using and committing to a digital calendar. The calendar is a concrete tool that can be directly taught to students using traditional methods. Less concrete, but in many ways equally useful, is this next executive function tool – the natural consequence.

When most people think of natural consequences, they think of younger children refusing to do things like eat a meal that their caregiver prepared or put on a coat when it is cold outside. If a child refuses their dinner, the natural consequence is hunger. If a child refuses to wear their coat, the natural consequence is feeling cold. These are consequences that will happen without parents or caregivers explicitly providing a consequence. When it comes to executive function mishaps, the natural consequence is often the need to independently deal with the fallout.

Many of the students I serve directly need scaffolded executive function support with direct instruction and specific opportunities for practice. I am not advocating for removing these services or throwing these students to the proverbial wolves. What I am advocating for is using mistakes or lapses in executive function skill as learning opportunities, as opposed to absolving our students from all responsibility and continuously jumping in to save the day. To demonstrate this difference, here are a few examples of ways I have seen parents successfully use natural consequences as a tool to teach executive function.

Case Studies

  1. Amber is a student who has had consistent difficulty organizing her time after school. While she attends many different afterschool activities, such as recycling club and track, she is often late to practice or misses important changes to the schedule. To help Amber, her parents set up a calendar with notifications and reminders that appear on her phone and her computer directly after school. Recently, Amber started driving lessons with the local driving school. A few weeks ago, Amber had a conversation with her mother in the morning about the fact that she would be picked up for a lesson 10 minutes after the end of the school day. Amber’s notification on her phone went off 15 minutes before the lesson, and she received a pop-up on her computer screen 30 minutes before the end of the school day. Despite these reminders, Amber hopped onto the bus at the end of the day. While this was an honest mistake, Amber was not using her tools or the time management strategies that she has been taught and is expected to use. Amber’s parents decided that as a natural consequence, Amber would need to deal with fixing her mistake. They were there to support her as she called the driving school, apologized to the instructor, and rescheduled her appointment. If she was not willing to take these steps, another natural consequence would have been a delay in getting her license. This caused some heightened anxiety for Amber, but with encouragement from her parents, she practiced the phone call out loud and looked through her calendar to see where she had availability for a make-up appointment. Amber’s parents could have easily called the driving school and fixed these problems for her; however, Amber would have missed out on an opportunity to practice problem solving.
  2. Another student who benefited from natural consequences is Albert. Albert’s parents hired a tutor to meet with him over Zoom twice per week to prepare for the SATs. He was expected to meet with his tutor, Barry, two times per week to start building up his skills. Unfortunately, despite frequent reminders and systems being put in place, Albert often missed or was late to these meetings as he was distracted by playing video games. When Albert’s parents started to receive charges for missed appointments from Barry’s company, they thought carefully about how to impress on Albert the importance of using his strategies and making it to his appointments. Eventually, Albert’s parents informed him that if he missed another session, he would be responsible for the late fee, as the charge was an inevitable consequence. When Albert eventually missed another session, his father drove him to the bank and helped him withdraw the money from his own savings account to pay his parents for the missed session. Unsurprisingly, this was hugely frustrating to Albert in the moment; however, his meetings with Barry became a priority and Albert quickly started making it to tutoring on time. After experiencing the natural consequence himself, Albert began to change his actions.

Both of these examples led to increased buy-in from the adolescents who were actively working on building up their executive functioning skills. As they started to participate in problem solving after they made a mistake, they were more aware of the work that their parents had typically been doing for them. Some language that can be productive includes:

  • “I know it was a mistake and now we just need to figure out how to fix it. What do you think we should do?”
  • “What are the next steps you need to take to solve this problem?”
  • “I can tell you what I think we should do, but I would love to hear your ideas first. Where would you start?”

As adolescents forge toward young adulthood, they will inevitably make mistakes, miss appointments, arrive late, and misplace some of their belongings. If we are constantly picking up the pieces, then they are missing out on the opportunity to learn how to solve their own problems and build an understanding of the consequences.

 

About the Author
Sophie Bellenis is a Licensed Occupational Therapist in Massachusetts, specializing in educational OT and functional life skills development. Bellenis joined NESCA in the fall of 2017 to offer community-based skills coaching services as a part of the Real-life Skills Program within NESCA’s Transition Services team. Bellenis graduated from the MGH Institute of Health Professions with a Doctorate in Occupational Therapy, with a focus on pediatrics and international program evaluation. She is a member of the American Occupational Therapy Association, as well as the World Federation of Occupational Therapists. Having spent years delivering direct services at the elementary, middle school and high school levels, Bellenis has extensive background with school-based occupational therapy services.  She believes that individual sensory needs and visual skills must be taken into account to create comprehensive educational programming.

 

To book an appointment or to learn more about NESCA’s Occupational Therapy Services, please fill out our online Intake Form, email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

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