NESCA is currently accepting therapy and executive function coaching clients from middle school-age through adulthood with Therapist, Executive Function Coach, and Parent Coach Carly Loureiro, MSW, LICSW. Carly specializes in therapy for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders and individuals who are highly anxious, depressed, suffer with low self-esteem, etc. She also offers parent coaching and family sessions when needed. For more information or to schedule appointments, please complete our Intake Form.

Tag

self-esteem

16

Self-efficacy: An Important Characteristic to Develop in Children

By | Nesca Notes 2023

By Dot Lucci, M.Ed., CAGS
Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Counseling Services, NESCA

We often talk a lot about wanting our children to have good self-esteem. There’s nothing wrong with good self-esteem; it means that a child has a positive view of themselves and their worth. However, self-esteem is not enough. Life has its challenges, failure being one of them. How are we helping children to pick themselves up and try again? If our children are lagging in this ability, we need to help them develop realistic self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy and self-esteem are related but are also qualitatively different. Self-efficacy is related to how you feel about your ability to succeed in different contexts. It is more specific and context-driven versus self-esteem. Is your child capable of preserving at performing a difficult task? Do they stay engaged and try again, or do they give up? Self-esteem is considered a global belief about oneself, whereas, according to psychologist Albert Bandura, self-efficacy is “the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations.”

A child with high self-efficacy believes their challenges are obstacles to overcome. Failures don’t immobilize them. Their inner voice says, “I’ve got this!” They may demonstrate good self-awareness by knowing their strengths and challenges, thus setting manageable goals and achieving success because the goals are indeed attainable. Their motivation to try difficult tasks is buoyed by a positive thinking style and an inner belief system that recognizes failure as a part of life. So, when they fail at something, their self-esteem remains intact. They don’t “beat themselves up” when they make a mistake. They recognize it as a part of learning. As they say, “they get back in the saddle.” Children with good self-efficacy have better self-regulation, utilize a growth mindset, and have a stronger sense of agency and mastery. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”

Children with poor self-efficacy often shy away from work that they failed at or with tasks that they perceive as difficult. They tend to believe that these tasks are beyond their capabilities, so they shy away from even trying to do them. Children with low self-efficacy often berate themselves when they make a mistake, lose confidence in themselves, and their self-esteem suffers.

Helping children develop self-efficacy is important to their overall social-emotional functioning and well-being. The earlier we start helping to develop self-efficacy in our children, the better off they will be at improving their self-efficacy independently throughout their lives. Bandura identified four influencers or sources that impact self-efficacy: performance experience, vicarious experience, social persuasion, and physical and emotional states. Using these as our guideposts when teaching our children enhances their development of self-efficacy.

Performance Experience refers to when we perform a task successfully, it strengthens our sense of self-efficacy. This can also be called Mastery Experiences. We feel good about ourselves, our skills, and our knowledge; however, the converse is true as well. Failing to perform a task well will further weaken self-efficacy, particularly if it was not strong to begin with. Thus, it is important to emphasize and normalize the concept that failure is a part of the learning process.

When we watch others who are like us succeed by persevering at and completing a difficult task, it can raise the observers’ beliefs that they, too, can achieve it. This is Vicarious Experience or Social Modeling. By watching another person succeed through dedication, a person can be inspired to achieve the goals they set for themselves.

Another way to improve self-efficacy is through Social Persuasion. It is just as it sounds – someone you trust as a credible source giving verbal encouragement about your ability to perform a task can have a positive impact on one’s self-efficacy, becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The last influencer, Our Own Personal Physical Sensations, Moods, Emotional Reactions, and Stress Level, etc., can dramatically…and positively or negatively impact how a person feels about their skills and abilities to complete a task. Bandura, highlighted, “it is not the sheer intensity of the emotional and physical reactions that is important but how they are perceived and interpreted by the person.” If we can acknowledge the stress and minimize it when we are confronted with a challenging task, we can improve self-efficacy. These are all important ways to help facilitate a child’s development of self-efficacy.

Facilitating the development of self-efficacy in our children can be done through a variety of means, keeping Bandura’s four influencers in mind. Here are some approaches to consider:

  • Keep in mind Bandura’s four self-efficacy influencer types as your guideposts.
  • Model self-efficacy and point it out to your children. Share your struggles/set-backs and how you managed to persevere. Talk about how you are willing to work towards a goal even though you failed multiple times along the way. Typically, parents do it without even knowing it.
  • Help children develop realistic self-efficacy by praising them honestly and concretely. Praise their effort, not their ability. Help them recognize failure is a part of life and learning.
  • Preview new learning by saying something like, “Remember you’re learning ___. You might make some mistakes. It’s okay. Mistakes are a part of learning.”
  • Use failures to help build realistic expectations and self-confidence by pointing out growth from previous attempts. Help children learn from their set-backs.
  • Empathize with their emotions related to their failures, struggles, etc.
  • Name their strengths and challenges, and use them as jumping off points related to their effort, not ability.
  • Help children set “realistic” short-term goals and help them stay on track. Help children recognize that their achievements are related to internal strengths, skills, and thoughts – not on external factors (i.e., I learned that hook shot because I practiced, watched and analyzed videos, and listened to my coach, etc.).
  • Create opportunities that are within “their zone of proximal development” (i.e., just right learning level – not too hard or too easy). To help build self-efficacy, a child needs a difficulty level to hold their interest, feel challenged, and experience some amount of struggle while ultimately achieving success.

Self-efficacy is worth paying attention to as it is truly one of the best gifts we can instill in our children. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”

References

Bandura, A. 1999. Self-efficacy in Changing Societies. Cambridge Univ. Press, UK.

Self-Efficacy: Helping Children Believe They Can Succeed https://www.forsyth.k12.ga.us/cms/lib3/ga01000373/centricity/domain/31/self-efficacy_helping_children_believe_they_can_suceed.pdf

If You Think You Can’t… Think Again: The Sway of Self-Efficacy https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/flourish/201002/if-you-think-you-can-t-think-again-the-sway-self-efficacy

 

About the Author

NESCA’s Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services Dot Lucci has been active in the fields of education, psychology, research and academia for over 30 years. She is a national consultant and speaker on program design and the inclusion of children and adolescents with special needs, especially those diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Prior to joining NESCA, Ms. Lucci was the Principal of the Partners Program/EDCO Collaborative and previously the Program Director and Director of Consultation at MGH/Aspire for 13 years, where she built child, teen and young adult programs and established the 3-Ss (self-awareness, social competency and stress management) as the programming backbone. She also served as director of the Autism Support Center. Ms. Lucci was previously an elementary classroom teacher, special educator, researcher, school psychologist, college professor and director of public schools, a private special education school and an education collaborative.

Ms. Lucci directs NESCA’s consultation services to public and private schools, colleges and universities, businesses and community agencies. She also provides psychoeducational counseling directly to students and parents. Ms. Lucci’s clinical interests include mind-body practices, positive psychology, and the use of technology and biofeedback devices in the instruction of social and emotional learning, especially as they apply to neurodiverse individuals.

 

To book a consultation with Ms. Lucci or one of our many expert clinicians, complete NESCA’s online intake form. Indicate whether you are seeking an “evaluation” or “consultation” and your preferred clinician/consultant/service in the referral line.

 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville, Massachusetts, Londonderry, New Hampshire, and Burlington, Vermont, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

5

Getting to Know NESCA Pediatric Neuropsychologist J. Michael Abrams, Ph.D.

By | Nesca Notes 2023

By: Jane Hauser
Director of Marketing & Outreach

I recently spoke with J. Michael Abrams, Ph.D., pediatric neuropsychologist practicing in NESCA’s Londonderry, New Hampshire office. Dr. Abrams joined NESCA last fall. Take a few minutes to learn more about him in today’s blog interview. 

How did you became interested in neuropsychology?

Back in the mid-80s, I worked at McLean Hospital, in the Child & Adolescent Inpatient program. They had an educational program set up for the kids that was run by psychologists who were embedded in the classrooms. There was a fair amount of test development going on at that time that used a lot of materials to build executive function and cognitive skills among the students. I was always interested in education and special education, but it was this experience that changed my career mindset toward psychology. So, I went back to school to study psychology.

Tell us about your career journey.

I always wanted to work with children and adolescents. That desire stemmed from my initial interest in special education and education in general, and I was on that path. I spent about seven and a half years at McLean, with the first couple of years working on an inpatient unit. Then I transferred to the psychologist-run education program, where I was a classroom educator.

After switching to psychology, my original clinical interest was with children who had experienced abuse and neglect and those who were involved in children’s eyewitness testimony. The focus was on how the experiences they had been through affected their memory, attention, and cognitive development. The more I worked with children and adolescents, the more I recognized how these neuropsychological factors impacted all aspects of their lives. It became much more than what I saw in the context of a legal case; instead, I saw how their experiences affected the management of themselves, their image of themselves, their hopes and aspirations, etc. I became really interested in how their neuropsychology intersected with their opportunities and experiences.

What segment of children and adolescents do you primarily work with? What is your specialty area?

I am particularly interested in working with children from age eight through 14, when their cognitive development is really taking off and they are trying to master this whole new set of skills. This time is filled with questions and challenges concerning self-esteem, mood, relationships, family relationships, etc. It’s a time when they are asking themselves what they are good at, where they struggle, and what those strengths and challenges say about them as a person. There is a great opportunity to have a big impact on kids in this age range. It’s such a gift to allow them to see themselves as successful and have that lead to future success.

What do you find most rewarding and most challenging about your profession?

The rewarding part is two-fold. The first is the interpersonal emotional piece. On a personal level, it’s rewarding to be able to contribute to other peoples’ success, whether it’s the clients, the practice, or the field overall. The second piece is more personal and intellectual. It’s intellectually stimulating to be able to integrate all of the information we gather or identify about a person, and to be able to communicate those findings or revelations to a child and their parents or caregivers. The intellectual reward lies in the ability to effectively communicate a child’s cognitive complexity in a way that they understand and can use to help reach their goals.

The challenging part has to do with the mental health landscape overall. As someone who is involved in neuropsychological assessments, it can feel like operating within a silo in the overall landscape. So many of the systems, such as insurance and education, are not set up for seamless collaboration with psychology practices or other areas of behavioral health. Unfortunately, this can make getting the appropriate mental health care or educational/therapeutic interventions a cumbersome, sometimes adversarial process. It’s the frustration that accompanies the much larger, more overarching need to develop a genuine collaboration among all the pieces within the health and mental health care settings.

What interested you about NESCA?

I was drawn to the opportunity NESCA provides to interact with other psychologists and affiliated clinicians on an ongoing basis. Professionally, I am not operating in a silo. At NESCA, there is more regular consultation and collaboration on how to put together a comprehensive and coherent plan for these kids. I was very excited to have a team of highly qualified, very experienced professionals, within the same organization, who can provide a range of supports and services for the kids we work with. Having this as a resource is a great opportunity for our clients and our staff, alike.

 

About Pediatric Neuropsychologist J. Michael Abrams, Ph.D.

Dr. J. Michael Abrams has over 30 years of experience in psychological, educational, and neuropsychological assessment and psychotherapy in various settings. A significant aspect of Dr. Abrams’ continuing interest and experience also includes the psychological care and treatment of children, adolescents, and young adults with a broad variety of emotional and interpersonal problems, beyond those that arise in the context of developmental differences or learning-related difficulties.

 

To book a neuropsychological evaluation with Dr. Abrams in Londonderry, NH, or to book with another expert NESCA neuropsychologist, complete NESCA’s online intake form. 

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville, Massachusetts, Londonderry, New Hampshire, and Burlington, Vermont, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

11

Boredom: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

By | NESCA Notes 2021

By: Cynthia Hess, PsyD
Pediatric Neuropsychologist Fellow and Therapist

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, boredom is defined as:

A state of weariness or ennui resulting from a lack of engagement with stimuli in the environment. It is generally considered to be one of the least desirable conditions of daily life and is often identified by individuals as a cause of feeling depressed. It can be seen as the opposite of interest and surprise

In an APA podcast called Speaking of Psychology, Erin Westgate, PhD, a psychologist who studies boredom, suggests that boredom is an unpleasant emotion similar to anger, sadness, fear, and pain. In her efforts to understand and define boredom, Dr. Westgate explored the ways in which attention and meaning affect emotions and explain boredom. She opines that boredom may result from one’s inability to sustain attention, which may occur either when a task is too easy or too hard. It may help to understand why students describe a less preferred subject (e.g., math) as boring. Boredom may also be due to a sense that what we are doing lacks meaning. In both instances, the mind wanders and we are faced with that sense of being alone with our thoughts. Dr. Westgate notes that some thoughts are more engaging than others, and there are certain conditions under which people enjoy or do not enjoy their own thoughts. It has become increasingly difficult for people to sit and think, and consequently they search for ways to escape or avoid the boredom that results. However, boredom is not all bad. Like many things in life, it depends on how we manage it.

Similar to other negative emotions, boredom alerts us that something is wrong in our body, and it is human nature to want to escape or avoid it. When escape and avoidance become the only method to cope with boredom, individuals may begin experiencing chronic boredom, which can be detrimental to emotional and physical wellbeing. When boredom becomes chronic, it no longer works as a useful signal. Boredom can be more impactful than loneliness and is often mistaken for loneliness. When boredom is not well managed, it can lead to depression and self-destructive behaviors, such as self-harm and addiction. As alluded to above, the ability to sit with our thoughts and feelings without trying to avoid or escape them has become increasingly difficult. Perhaps related to the ease with which they can be avoided; for example, when our body sends out the first signal of discomfort, we can distract ourselves by reaching for our phone. An article in TIME magazine stated:

We’re trying to swipe and scroll the boredom away, but in doing that, we’re actually making ourselves more prone to boredom, because every time we get our phone out we’re not allowing our mind to wander and to solve our own boredom problems, Mann says, adding that people can become addicted to the constant dopamine hit of new and novel content that phones provide. Our tolerance for boredom just changes completely, and we need more and more to stop being bored.

Relying on electronics is only one example of a way to avoid and escape the discomfort of boredom. It is highly reinforcing because, in the short-term, it works. However, when it is one’s only tool in the toolbox, it may quickly undermine their ability for learning to manage uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and use them for creating positive change. Therefore, it is necessary to find a positive, opposite behavior to replace the maladaptive behavior. This often leads to an increased sense of purpose and agency, and improved self-esteem and self-concept.

Children and adolescents often complain about being bored, and while boredom is uncomfortable, it can also help to develop skills, creativity, and boost self-esteem. Once boredom sets in, it can be difficult for children to shift their attention to find meaning when confronted with the discomfort of boredom. According to an article published by the Child Mind Institute, boredom can be a great way to teach children how to manage frustration and regulate emotions when things are boring or not going their way. It is not that boredom teaches the skills, but rather it is what they do when faced with boredom. There are many strategies outlined in the article to help parents nurture skills when their children are bored. In general, be aware that behaviors may be attention-seeking, and therefore, should not be reinforced. Otherwise, boredom offers an opportunity for children to do something meaningful that benefits them and those around them. When properly managed, it spurs creativity and innovation. Along the way, it is important to be realistic and recognize that there will be failure, and learning to manage the discomfort of failure is an added bonus.

 

About the Author

Dr. Cynthia Hess recently graduated from Rivier University with a PsyD in Counseling and School Psychology. Previously, she earned an M.A. from Antioch New England in Applied Psychology. She also worked as an elementary school counselor and school psychologist for 15 years before embarking on her doctorate. During her doctorate, she did her pre-doctoral internship with RIT in Rochester, N.Y. where she worked with youth ages 5-17 who had experienced complex developmental trauma. Dr. Hess’s first post-doctoral fellowship was with The Counseling Center of New England where she provided psychotherapy and family therapy to children ages 5-18, their families and young adults. She also trained part-time with a pediatric neuropsychologist conducting neuropsychological evaluations.

 

To schedule an appointment with one of NESCA’s expert neuropsychologists, please complete our online intake form. 

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

10

Boredom: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

By | NESCA Notes 2021

By: Cynthia Hess, PsyD
Pediatric Neuropsychologist Fellow and Therapist

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, boredom is defined as:

A state of weariness or ennui resulting from a lack of engagement with stimuli in the environment. It is generally considered to be one of the least desirable conditions of daily life and is often identified by individuals as a cause of feeling depressed. It can be seen as the opposite of interest and surprise

In an APA podcast called Speaking of Psychology, Erin Westgate, PhD, a psychologist who studies boredom, suggests that boredom is an unpleasant emotion similar to anger, sadness, fear, and pain. In her efforts to understand and define boredom, Dr. Westgate explored the ways in which attention and meaning affect emotions and explain boredom. She opines that boredom may result from one’s inability to sustain attention, which may occur either when a task is too easy or too hard. It may help to understand why students describe a less preferred subject (e.g., math) as boring. Boredom may also be due to a sense that what we are doing lacks meaning. In both instances, the mind wanders and we are faced with that sense of being alone with our thoughts. Dr. Westgate notes that some thoughts are more engaging than others, and there are certain conditions under which people enjoy or do not enjoy their own thoughts. It has become increasingly difficult for people to sit and think, and consequently they search for ways to escape or avoid the boredom that results. However, boredom is not all bad. Like many things in life, it depends on how we manage it.

Similar to other negative emotions, boredom alerts us that something is wrong in our body, and it is human nature to want to escape or avoid it. When escape and avoidance become the only method to cope with boredom, individuals may begin experiencing chronic boredom, which can be detrimental to emotional and physical wellbeing. When boredom becomes chronic, it no longer works as a useful signal. Boredom can be more impactful than loneliness and is often mistaken for loneliness. When boredom is not well managed, it can lead to depression and self-destructive behaviors, such as self-harm and addiction. As alluded to above, the ability to sit with our thoughts and feelings without trying to avoid or escape them has become increasingly difficult. Perhaps related to the ease with which they can be avoided; for example, when our body sends out the first signal of discomfort, we can distract ourselves by reaching for our phone. An article in TIME magazine stated:

We’re trying to swipe and scroll the boredom away, but in doing that, we’re actually making ourselves more prone to boredom, because every time we get our phone out we’re not allowing our mind to wander and to solve our own boredom problems, Mann says, adding that people can become addicted to the constant dopamine hit of new and novel content that phones provide. Our tolerance for boredom just changes completely, and we need more and more to stop being bored.

Relying on electronics is only one example of a way to avoid and escape the discomfort of boredom. It is highly reinforcing because, in the short-term, it works. However, when it is one’s only tool in the toolbox, it may quickly undermine their ability for learning to manage uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and use them for creating positive change. Therefore, it is necessary to find a positive, opposite behavior to replace the maladaptive behavior. This often leads to an increased sense of purpose and agency, and improved self-esteem and self-concept.

Children and adolescents often complain about being bored, and while boredom is uncomfortable, it can also help to develop skills, creativity, and boost self-esteem. Once boredom sets in, it can be difficult for children to shift their attention to find meaning when confronted with the discomfort of boredom. According to an article published by the Child Mind Institute, boredom can be a great way to teach children how to manage frustration and regulate emotions when things are boring or not going their way. It is not that boredom teaches the skills, but rather it is what they do when faced with boredom. There are many strategies outlined in the article to help parents nurture skills when their children are bored. In general, be aware that behaviors may be attention-seeking, and therefore, should not be reinforced. Otherwise, boredom offers an opportunity for children to do something meaningful that benefits them and those around them. When properly managed, it spurs creativity and innovation. Along the way, it is important to be realistic and recognize that there will be failure, and learning to manage the discomfort of failure is an added bonus.

 

About the Author

Dr. Cynthia Hess recently graduated from Rivier University with a PsyD in Counseling and School Psychology. Previously, she earned an M.A. from Antioch New England in Applied Psychology. She also worked as an elementary school counselor and school psychologist for 15 years before embarking on her doctorate. During her doctorate, she did her pre-doctoral internship with RIT in Rochester, N.Y. where she worked with youth ages 5-17 who had experienced complex developmental trauma. Dr. Hess’s first post-doctoral fellowship was with The Counseling Center of New England where she provided psychotherapy and family therapy to children ages 5-18, their families and young adults. She also trained part-time with a pediatric neuropsychologist conducting neuropsychological evaluations.

 

To schedule an appointment with one of NESCA’s expert neuropsychologists, please complete our online intake form. 

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton and Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

14

Summer is Here, but There are Still Chores to Do – The Importance of Chores in a Child’s Development

By | NESCA Notes 2021

By Dot Lucci, M.Ed., CAGS
Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services, NESCA

What a year it’s been! Hopefully with the pandemic restrictions lifted and the start of summer, we are all breathing a sigh of relief. I’m certainly looking forward to traveling, seeing relatives and getting out without masks. The pandemic upturned our lives in so many ways, but now that there is a “sense of normalcy” returning, we may be tempted to kick back and really relax this summer. However, I would caution that in kicking back and relaxing, there are still chores that need to be done. So, why not include your children in taking ownership and helping out around the house? There is research that states that toddlers who are taught to “help out” around the house continue to help out as they age. Many children in indigenous communities grow up asking to help or just help out because it is needed. Wouldn’t it be nice if that were the case in the United States?

Jim Fay, co-founder of the Love and Logic parenting website, says that all of us need to feel needed and know we are making a contribution to those around us or to our world at large – even kids. In many families, chores are a tradition, but in others they have fallen by the wayside. Many upper and middle class families have hired household help, so the need to do chores isn’t as great, and fighting with children to do chores doesn’t seem worth it. Let’s face it, no one likes to do chores, but they have to get done. Psychologist Roger McIntire, author of Raising Good Kids in Tough Times, says, “A child has to have some responsibilities.” The family is a community, and everyone should chip in and help out. Helping out with family responsibilities and doing one’s own personal responsibilities are useful and necessary skills for a child’s development. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry states that, “there are benefits to including chores in a child’s routine as early as age 3. Children who do chores may exhibit higher self-esteem, be more responsible, and be better equipped to deal with frustration, adversity, and delayed gratification. These skills can lead to greater success in school, work, and relationships.” Research also shows that children who grow up contributing to the family responsibilities grow up to be adults who work well in collaborative groups and have a “can-do” attitude.

Helping kids learn that they have to do chores and that they are a part of life teaches them that it’s not just about me and what I need at this moment, but that I’m part of a system. I’m part of a family (I set the table). I’m part of my class at school (I clean up after an art project). I’m part of my sports team (I carry the bat/ball bag). I’m part of the workplace (I do my part). Humans crave a sense of belonging and connection, and helping others out and doing work for the good of the whole helps us understand why connection is important. The more we can do to foster this in our kids, the better off they will be as adults. Chores are a form of selflessness and help children develop a sense of responsibility and awareness of the needs of others. They begin to recognize that when they pick up, they can find their toys and they are grateful for the small things. Parents show gratitude when children do chores. Praise is good! Children feel appreciated and connected, and gratitude helps wire our brains to notice more things to feel thankful for, leading us to feel better overall.

Chores are powerful teachers. They help a child develop a greater sense of responsibility and awareness of the needs of others, and they also contribute to a child’s social and emotional well-being. Chores help children believe that they are competent and capable and help them develop greater self-esteem. Doing chores can also help children learn problem solving skills as well as the consequences of not doing their chores (i.e., not putting your baseball shirt in the laundry so it’s dirty for the next game). Chores are an excellent teacher of life skills. Knowing how to set the table, walk the dog, pick up toys, do laundry, prepare a meal, sweep/vacuum the floor, change a vacuum cleaner bag, etc., all help prepare a child for the responsibilities of adulthood. More involved tasks (i.e., cleaning out the garage) can be used in the development a child’s executive functioning skills, prompting them (perhaps with parent assistance) to figure out how to tackle the task in the most efficient, most systematic manner. And they learn about solutions that may be applied to a host of other life responsibilities.

Being a part of a family and taking responsibility for oneself and contributing to the family by doing chores is a powerful gift to give to children, even if they may not do the chores perfectly, may need to be reminded to do them, or grumble while they are doing them. It’s okay. Over time, these will lessen. Stay with it and help your child recognize and understand that life is work, and they have to be a part of the work of life.

If you aren’t having your child do chores now, consider it while the summer is here. It will help them out in many ways in the long run, helping them to be better functioning and more capable adults. If you need help figuring out which chores are age-appropriate, there are many lists online offering ideas and ways to assist in helping children do chores without too much complaining!

References

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Chores_and_Children-125.aspx

https://www.loveandlogic.com

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/18/opinion/sunday/children-chores-parenting.html

 

About the Author

NESCA’s Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services Dot Lucci has been active in the fields of education, psychology, research and academia for over 30 years. She is a national consultant and speaker on program design and the inclusion of children and adolescents with special needs, especially those diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Prior to joining NESCA, Ms. Lucci was the Principal of the Partners Program/EDCO Collaborative and previously the Program Director and Director of Consultation at MGH/Aspire for 13 years, where she built child, teen and young adult programs and established the 3-Ss (self-awareness, social competency and stress management) as the programming backbone. She also served as director of the Autism Support Center. Ms. Lucci was previously an elementary classroom teacher, special educator, researcher, school psychologist, college professor and director of public schools, a private special education school and an education collaborative.

Ms. Lucci directs NESCA’s consultation services to public and private schools, colleges and universities, businesses and community agencies. She also provides psychoeducational counseling directly to students and parents. Ms. Lucci’s clinical interests include mind-body practices, positive psychology, and the use of technology and biofeedback devices in the instruction of social and emotional learning, especially as they apply to neurodiverse individuals.

 

To book a consultation with Ms. Lucci or one of our many expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form. Indicate whether you are seeking an “evaluation” or “consultation” and your preferred clinician/consultant in the referral line.

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

4

First Recommendation: Take up Golf

By | NESCA Notes 2018

 

By: Ann Helmus, Ph.D.
NESCA Founder/Director

A five-year old boy, whom I will call Marcel, was referred by his parents for evaluation to determine if he had Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) because he isolated himself socially. With a great deal of effort, I got Marcel through the neuropsychological evaluation process and observed him at his pre-school. Results of the evaluation revealed a significant communication disorder but no other symptoms of ASD. He was socially isolated because he didn’t have the language skills to interact easily with others. Although his verbal abilities were limited, Marcel’s visual-spatial skills were superior, based on testing results. During my school observation, I was struck by his ability to focus intently, seemingly immune to distraction, on building an extensive highway system for his cars for more than an hour.In thinking about treatment for Marcel, my top priority was to conceive of a plan for luring him out of his “own world” where he retreated much of the time to avoid the communication demands inherent in engaging his surroundings. Because the language skills of young children develop most rapidly in social contexts, increasing Marcel’s opportunities for interaction with others would be expected to improve both his language skills and his social confidence. Since people can be most readily induced to change by leveraging their strengths, I asked myself, “What activity requires superb visual-spatial skills, and the ability to concentrate for hours on visual stimuli?”, both conspicuous strengths for Marcel. I also wanted an activity that would provide ample opportunities for interactions with others but not demand it.Deciding that Marcel was too young to become a pool shark, I recommended golf to his parents, explaining my reasoning. I told them that, in addition to using Marcel’s natural strengths to build a skill that would enhance his self-esteem, golf would provide a “controlled social arena”. Marcel could get away with socializing primarily about the game, which would require him to use a limited vocabulary (e.g. birdie, bogey, slice) whereas socializing in less controlled environments involves a broader range of topics and associated language demands.Marcel excelled with golf, quickly mastering the game and often playing more than 36 holes during weekends, such that he was interacting with others throughout the day, instead of engaging in solitary pursuits, but still “having a break” from other people while he focused on his game. He and his family were rightfully proud of his tournament trophies and Marcel established relationships with his teammates and coaches. As he spent more time interacting with others, Marcel’s communication skills and self-confidence blossomed.

When I saw him recently for his two-year follow-up evaluation, Marcel told me that he wanted to switch from golf to tennis “because its more social”.

Leveraging a child’s strengths can be one of our most potent tools for remediating weaknesses.

 

About the Author:

NESCA Founder/Director Ann Helmus, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical neuropsychologist who has been practicing for almost 20 years. In 1996, she jointly founded the  Children’s Evaluation Center (CEC) in Newton, Massachusetts, serving as co-director there for almost ten years. During that time, CEC emerged as a leading regional center for the diagnosis and remediation of both learning disabilities and Autism Spectrum Disorders.
In September of 2007, Dr. Helmus established NESCA (Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents), a client and family-centered group of seasoned neuropsychologists and allied staff, many of whom she trained, striving to create and refine innovative clinical protocols and dedicated to setting new standards of care in the field.

Dr. Helmus specializes in the evaluation of children with learning disabilities, attention and executive function deficits and primary neurological disorders. In addition to assessing children, she also provides consultation and training to both public and private school systems. She frequently makes presentations to groups of parents, particularly on the topics of non-verbal learning disability and executive functioning.

 

To book a consultation with Dr. Helmus or one of our many other expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form.

 

 

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

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