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11
school student frustrated over the work

Navigating the Post-Honeymoon Phase: Signs Your Child May Need Support This School Year

By | NESCA Notes 2024

school student frustrated over the workBy Miranda Milana, Psy.D.
Pediatric Neuropsychologist

With the start of the school year well underway, we are beginning to see students and teachers settling into their classroom routines. Along with this increase in familiarity and comfortability, parents often start to see bits and pieces of challenges arise around this time of year that may have gone unnoticed during the initial “honeymoon period.” You may be wondering what challenges you should be looking out for and when those challenges warrant an evaluation to determine further supports and services. Let’s take some time to explore what to keep an eye on, and when it might be time to reach out to schedule an evaluation to dive a bit deeper into what is going on. 

Academics

No matter their age, if you ever feel your child is inundated and overwhelmed with schoolwork, it is a great idea to reach out to their teachers; ask how long homework should be taking and whether it should feel like review vs. new material. If homework starts to consistently become a battle, it might be worth taking a closer look into why. It could be because it’s a new and appropriately challenging course. It could also be because there are underlying language-based learning disabilities, a nonverbal learning disability, executive function challenges, or increasing symptoms of anxiety or depression. Some specific things to watch for:

  • Frequent tears during homework that appear to get worse instead of better
  • Not appearing to “get it” even after review and repetition
  • Difficulty studying/holding information in memory
  • Dysfluent reading or not understand what they’ve read
  • Challenges understanding math concepts or memorizing math facts
  • Difficulty applying and generalizing concepts
  • Opposition to handwriting tasks or when asked to compose a writing assignment
  • Poor penmanship that is illegible and/or immature for age
  • Not meeting benchmarks on assessments

Social Skills

At this point in the school year, children are typically starting to be interested in other peers within their classrooms. For younger kids, they are likely to feel more comfortable interacting with other children in their play. Common social concerns can include:

  • Not remembering any names or faces of kids in their class
  • Preferring to play alone, hesitant to join in with a group
  • Appearing unaware of social cues or how to initiate conversation with others
  • Rigidity in play—always wanting to play their own game by their own specific rules
  • Frequent peer conflicts and feeling rejected or left out

Emotional Functioning

A new school year often elicits feelings of anxiety in kids no matter how outgoing and social they may be! When might it be a sign that there is something more?

  • Continued and persistent resistance to going to school
  • Frequent somatic complaints with no apparent cause (e.g., headaches, stomachaches)
  • Change in sleeping patterns – not being able to fall asleep at night or waking up frequently
  • Difficulty with regulating their emotions/frequent tantrums
  • Changes in appetite
  • Negative statements about themselves
  • Increase in irritability
  • Withdrawal from others or previously preferred activities
  • Always wanting to know what is happening next and struggling with changes in routine (i.e., Does a substitute teacher derail their whole day? If a friend is out sick, is there a perseveration on where they are? Do you wait to tell them about changes in plans so they don’t worry in advance?)

Attention/Focus

Have you ever found yourself feeling restless and distracted when sitting through a work meeting? Kids are no different! Sitting still and paying attention for extended periods of time can be really tough – especially after being on summer break! Here are a few things to keep an eye on:

  • Frequently fidgeting in their seat or needing a fidget item to increase concentration
  • Difficulty with multi-step directions
  • Not remembering information presented during lectures
  • Acting impulsively
  • Easily distracted/daydreaming
  • Acting as if run by a motor
  • Blurting out thoughts, interrupting conversations
  • Teacher feedback that they are interrupting other students or not able to sit quietly and attend to class discussions

As always, you know your child best! If you feel like this year is off to a rocky start, or you’re starting to have questions regarding their functioning, do not hesitate to reach out and schedule an evaluation. A comprehensive neuropsychological evaluation is designed to look at ALL aspects of a child to determine what is getting in their way of reaching their potential. We are always here to help!

 

About the Author

Dr. Miranda Milana provides comprehensive evaluation services for children and adolescents with a wide range of concerns, includingMiranda Milana Headshot attention deficit disorders, communication disorders, intellectual disabilities, and learning disabilities. She particularly enjoys working with children and their families who have concerns regarding an autism spectrum disorder. Dr. Milana has received specialized training on the administration of the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS).

Dr. Milana places great emphasis on adapting her approach to a child’s developmental level and providing a testing environment that is approachable and comfortable for them. She also values collaboration with families and outside providers to facilitate supports and services that are tailored to a child’s specific needs.

Before joining NESCA, Dr. Milana completed a two-year postdoctoral fellowship at Boston Children’s Hospital in the Developmental Medicine department, where she received extensive training in the administration of psychological and neuropsychological testing. She has also received assessment training from Beacon Assessment Center and The Brenner Center. Dr. Milana graduated with her B.A. from the University of New England and went on to receive her doctorate from William James College (WJC). She was a part of the Children and Families of Adversity and Resilience (CFAR) program while at WJC. Her doctoral training also included therapeutic services across a variety of settings, including an elementary school, the Family Health Center of Worcester and at Roger Williams University.

Dr. Milana grew up in Maine and enjoys trips back home to see her family throughout the year. She currently resides in Wrentham, Massachusetts, with her husband and two golden retrievers. She also enjoys spending time with family and friends, reading, and cheering on the Patriots, Bruins, Red Sox, and Celtics.​

To book an appointment with Dr. Miranda Milana or another expert NESCA neuropsychologist, please complete our Intake Form today. 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; the greater Burlington, Vermont region; and Brooklyn, New York (coaching services only) serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

11

Busting a Common Autism Myth

By | NESCA Notes 2024

By Miranda Milana, Psy.D.
Pediatric Neuropsychologist

I often hear from parents and caregivers that their child has several friends and likes going to social events, leading them to wonder how they could have autism.

First, let’s take a look at what autism is:

Autism spectrum disorder is a neurodevelopmental disorder classified by persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction skills.

To meet criteria for an autism spectrum disorder, one must exhibit the following social communication deficits across multiple contexts:

  1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity—this may include feeling unsure or uncomfortable when approaching others, having difficulty initiating social interactions, or having difficulty responding appropriately when approached by others. When engaged in conversation with others, it may be difficult to engage in back-and-forth conversation and share interests/emotions.
  2. Deficits in nonverbal communication skills—examples include poor eye contact, poorly integrated gestures in conversation, reduced facial expressions, difficulty reading the facial expressions and gestures of others, and not picking up on subtle body language cues.
  3. Deficits initiating, maintaining, and understanding relationships—characterized by difficulties making new friends, not wanting to engage with peers in any capacity, or difficulties maintaining long lasting friendships.

One must also demonstrate evidence of at least two of the following: repetitive behaviors, inflexibility/rigidity, restricted and intense interests, and sensory sensitivities.

Next, let’s look at what autism isn’t:

While individuals with autism experience social challenges, it is a common misconception that having autism means not having any friends or social skills at all. Contrary to this popular misconception, I evaluate many children, adolescents, and adults who are on the autism spectrum, are socially motivated, and have numerous friendships.

It is important to remember that while a diagnosis of autism requires social communication deficits, that does not mean a complete lack of skills must be evident. For example, I see many individuals on the autism spectrum who have several longstanding friendships but have difficulty making new friends. Conversely, some individuals find that they initiate friendships well, but have difficulty maintaining friendships over time. It is also possible for an autistic individual to demonstrate appropriate eye contact and facial expressions but have difficulty reading subtle nonverbal cues of others. With high social motivation, it still may be challenging to know how to participate in social conversation, how to build on the interests of others, and how to respond to emotional reactions.

Individuals with high-functioning autism often get overlooked as they have learned to “mask” or “camouflage” really well. That is to say that they work hard to “fit in” or hide areas of vulnerability. It might not feel comfortable for them to participate in group conversations or to interpret nonliteral language. They may feel as though there are written social rules that everyone else has access to except for them. When observing them, it may appear as though they are social and well-integrated into social environments; however, they may report a vastly different internal experience.

Taken together, having an autism diagnosis does NOT mean there is a complete inability to form friendships or participate in social settings. Rather, aspects of social communication can be challenging and warrant supports and services designed to enhance these skills.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your child’s social development, speak with your pediatrician and/or schedule an evaluation with one of our neuropsychologists at NESCA.

 

About the Author

Dr. Miranda Milana provides comprehensive evaluation services for children and adolescents with a wide range of concerns, including attention deficit disorders, communication disorders, intellectual disabilities, and learning disabilities. She particularly enjoys working with children and their families who have concerns regarding an autism spectrum disorder. Dr. Milana has received specialized training on the administration of the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS).

Dr. Milana places great emphasis on adapting her approach to a child’s developmental level and providing a testing environment that is approachable and comfortable for them. She also values collaboration with families and outside providers to facilitate supports and services that are tailored to a child’s specific needs.

Before joining NESCA, Dr. Milana completed a two-year postdoctoral fellowship at Boston Children’s Hospital in the Developmental Medicine department, where she received extensive training in the administration of psychological and neuropsychological testing. She has also received assessment training from Beacon Assessment Center and The Brenner Center. Dr. Milana graduated with her B.A. from the University of New England and went on to receive her doctorate from William James College (WJC). She was a part of the Children and Families of Adversity and Resilience (CFAR) program while at WJC. Her doctoral training also included therapeutic services across a variety of settings, including an elementary school, the Family Health Center of Worcester and at Roger Williams University.

Dr. Milana grew up in Maine and enjoys trips back home to see her family throughout the year. She currently resides in Wrentham, Massachusetts, with her husband and two golden retrievers. She also enjoys spending time with family and friends, reading, and cheering on the Patriots, Bruins, Red Sox, and Celtics.​

To book an appointment with Dr. Miranda Milana or another expert NESCA neuropsychologist, please complete our Intake Form today. 

NESCA is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Plainville, and Hingham, Massachusetts; Londonderry, New Hampshire; the greater Burlington, Vermont region; and Brooklyn, New York (coaching services only) serving clients from infancy through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

14

A Social Life – What is it Exactly?

By | NESCA Notes 2021

By Dot Lucci, M.Ed., CAGS
Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services, NESCA

Many parents want their children to have friends and a social life, yet are concerned about the quality of their child’s social life. They often describe their child’s afterschool hours as being occupied with screen time, which may actually include others. Other children may be engaged in structured activities, such as scouts, sports, school-based clubs (i.e., robotics), music lessons, gaming clubs, and more. Then there are the children that tire easily when around many people and prefer alone time or being around one or two friends. When children are asked if they have friends, they often say yes and that they are online friends. These children who are engaged in structured social activities, online gaming, and other online activities say they have satisfying social lives. So, who’s to judge? A person’s definition of a satisfying social life is for each of us to decide (so long as they are doing so safely and responsibly).

When it comes to defining friends and a social life, there is often a disconnect between a child or teen’s definition and that of their parents. Today, there are so many more ways to have friends, a social life and socialize than there were “when we were kids.” Having a social life is now defined more broadly, such as online friends, gaming friends, the number of followers on Instagram/Twitter, and so much more.

A “virtual friend” or “online friend” is someone who one connects with online. These virtual friends are often very connected to others and can even become BFVs (best friends virtually). In the “old days” before the internet, these friends would have been called “pen pals,” whereby letters were written and exchanged. These pen pals of old sometimes heard all the trials and tribulations of one’s life. Virtual friends (VF) may stay as that – you may or may not ever meet them, which doesn’t diminish the relationship or make it less important and meaningful. IRLs (in real life friends) are people who one connects with in-person or in real-time. Many times, children and teens have better and stronger VFs than IRL friends. And sometimes they do meet up at different events, such as: E3 Expo, PAX, gaming clubs, Comic-Con and many more.

Socializing is different for each of us. How do we respect our children’s personalities and choices regarding socializing while encouraging them to explore more and different friendships and experiences? There are “introverts” and “extroverts” amongst us. Many extroverts love socializing both in real life and virtually and have many friends. They get energized by being around others. They’ll text a friend(s) and invite them over with no plan on what to do other than hang out. They care little about planning, predictability, and are okay going with the flow, handling ambiguity and uncertainty. Introverts are more comfortable with alone time, structure, predictability, clear boundaries, and rules/guidelines when engaging with others. Often times these kids are more comfortable with VFs and the online world with its structured platforms, anonymity, and being able to participate/not participate on their terms. Many of these kids are often the leaders and moderators on virtual platforms – something you may not suspect given their presentation in real-time/real life.

In this new world of online social connection, it is best to not try to force your child into being an “in real life socializer,” and involved in many social activities but instead make sure they have the social skills and knowledge to be successful in the real world of school, work, and community. Be aware of what and whom your children are connecting with online and accept who they are as a person. Trying to force them to be someone they are not may lead to more mental health challenges than them only having VFs or only engaging with IRL friends occasionally or on their terms. A satisfying social life is a personal choice and one that can’t be forced. There are many adults who are happy with one or two IRL friends and have structured activities they participate in (i.e., book club, trivia night, etc.); yet have many more VFs in their online platforms.

There has been much written about introverts in an extroverted world and how trying to force them to be someone they are not can backfire. Being happy with one’s social experiences and friends – whether virtual or in real life – is what it’s all about.

References

https://www.parents.com/kids/development/shy/raising-an-introvert-in-an-extrovert-world/

https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2015/08/06/chapter-4-social-media-and-friendships/

https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2018/11/28/teens-friendships-and-online-groups/

 

 

About the Author

NESCA’s Director of Consultation and Psychoeducational Services Dot Lucci has been active in the fields of education, psychology, research and academia for over 30 years. She is a national consultant and speaker on program design and the inclusion of children and adolescents with special needs, especially those diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Prior to joining NESCA, Ms. Lucci was the Principal of the Partners Program/EDCO Collaborative and previously the Program Director and Director of Consultation at MGH/Aspire for 13 years, where she built child, teen and young adult programs and established the 3-Ss (self-awareness, social competency and stress management) as the programming backbone. She also served as director of the Autism Support Center. Ms. Lucci was previously an elementary classroom teacher, special educator, researcher, school psychologist, college professor and director of public schools, a private special education school and an education collaborative.

Ms. Lucci directs NESCA’s consultation services to public and private schools, colleges and universities, businesses and community agencies. She also provides psychoeducational counseling directly to students and parents. Ms. Lucci’s clinical interests include mind-body practices, positive psychology, and the use of technology and biofeedback devices in the instruction of social and emotional learning, especially as they apply to neurodiverse individuals.

 

To book a consultation with Ms. Lucci or one of our many expert neuropsychologists, complete NESCA’s online intake form. Indicate whether you are seeking an “evaluation” or “consultation” and your preferred clinician/consultant in the referral line.

 

Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents (NESCA) is a pediatric neuropsychology practice and integrative treatment center with offices in Newton, Massachusetts, Plainville, Massachusetts, and Londonderry, New Hampshire, serving clients from preschool through young adulthood and their families. For more information, please email info@nesca-newton.com or call 617-658-9800.

 

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